Useless Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
117 Results for Useless
View 91 - 100 results for useless comic strips. Discover the best "Useless" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 27,
2015
Wally's Passion
Tags passion, drive, ambition, laziness, catch-22
Transcript
Wally: I'm only passionate about doing things that are socially unacceptable. Should I follow my passion or should I continue being useless? It is totally up to you. Catbert: Try to find a middle ground. Wally: A mild interest in things that don't matter.
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Friday August 07,
2015
Motivation Is Magical Thinking
Tags motivation, magic, inspiration, futility, futile, honesty, hard truth
Transcript
Dogbert: Motivation is a form of magical thinking in which you imagine that your words can turn useless people into high achievers. Boss: But it totally works, right? Dogbert: Yes, because magic is real. Boss: Is it hard to learn? Dogbert: Not if you already know how to lie.
Saturday August 29,
2015
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down
Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.
Thursday October 29,
2015
Human Contact Through Social Media
Tags loneliness, antisocial, people, introvert, social media, communication, isolation, technology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Monday November 02,
2015
Wally Resists The Tyranny Of Productivity
Tags useless, laziness, productivity, flaw, strength, health
Transcript
Wally: Some people say uselessness is a character flaw. I see it as the natural result of mindful resistance to the tyranny of productivity. Dilbert: Where do you think food comes from? Wally: From my critics. It's a great system.
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Sunday April 17,
2016
Tags management, honesty, competition, criticism
Transcript
Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!
Monday March 28,
2016
Wally Has Passon For No Goals
Tags goals, achievement, laziness, work ethic, catch-22, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.
Thursday May 12,
2016
Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally
Tags technology, inventions, scapegoat, excuse, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.
Monday June 20,
2016
Wally Heads Up Ai Project
Tags work ethic, laziness, project, fake
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

