Wear Comic Strips - Page 10
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Character
132 Results for Wear
View 91 - 100 results for wear comic strips. Discover the best "Wear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 09,
2008
Tags dead squirrel, insulting, knitting sweater, makeup, meeting, no potential benefit, time management, time management expert, woman as example, hideous outfit, business
Transcript
Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."
Saturday January 02,
2010
Tags support group, gullible, tricking, leader, controlling, uniforms
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I'm forming a support group for people who always make bad choices." Ratbert says, "Count me in!" Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to organize the whole thing for me." Ratebrt says, "I'd like that, and I don't know why." Dogbert says, "I want everyone to wear uniforms and chant my name." Ratbert says, "Is it just me, or does this keep getting better?"
Wednesday January 13,
2010
Tags customers, product design, dumb, hat, monkey, software, meeting, computer, annoyed, technology, animals, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "We need to get our customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."
Monday May 17,
2010
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, upgrade computer, vampire, evil smile, panic, caveman, complain, costumes
Transcript
Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"
Saturday July 17,
2010
Tags meeting, customer, wear jacket, lazy, optimism, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."
Wednesday January 07,
2009
Tags meeting, sales, annoyance, anger, business
Transcript
man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"
Tuesday June 30,
2009
Tags typing, lazy, idea, trick, deception, managing, stupidity
Transcript
Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"
Saturday October 17,
2009
Tags sitting, complaining, excuse, meeting, annoyed, angry, frustration, business
Transcript
Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda
Friday December 04,
2009
Tags facts, thimble, knowledge, suggestion, technology, strategy
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Here's the mountain of facts that support my recommended technology strategy." Dilbert says, "And here's a tiny thimble that holds everything you know about technology. Maybe you could?" Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like it when you suggest they wear the thimble of knowledge like a little hat."
Sunday May 03,
2009
Tags meeting, late, confused, yelling, stupidity, excuses, uncooperative, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."