Witty Side Comment Comic Strips - Page 10

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191 Results for Witty Side Comment

View 91 - 100 results for witty side comment comic strips. Discover the best "Witty Side Comment" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #company's goal, #double efficiency, #downsize, #marketing, #good at math, #business

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Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #personal lives, #strict dress code, #homes, #one less decision, #make every day

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At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #pressure makes diamonds, #garbage more compact, #slogans, #meeting, #strong job market, #engineers, #irritation makes perals, #pressure makes whine, #business

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At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "Our new slogan is Pressure Makes Diamonds." Wally sits to one side. Wally says,"How about Pressure Makes Garbage More Compact? I wonder if that one is taken." Dilbert looks on as The Boss frowns. The Boss walks out followed by Wally, who says, "Irritation Makes Pearls. Or maybe Pressure Makes Whine." The Boss thinks, "I hate this strong job market for engineers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #deep mud, #misogyny, #mud weasels, #kick people, #complimenting, #screaming

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Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm off to Elbonia, the land of waist-deep mud and misogyny." Wally leans back in his chair and says, "On the plus side, you can kick people and blame it on the mud weasels." Alice stands in the mud with a couple of Elbonians. One says, "What's wrong, Yugi? One second you are comlimenting this chick, next second screaming." Alice says, "Mud weasel." Yugi is doubled over in pain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #table, #introduce, #afraid, #forget, #integrated, #work, #remember, #drawing, #norwegian

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I see some new faces. Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this. I'm always afraid I'll forget my name when the pressure is on me." The man next to Dilbert says, ". . . And I've been in the Integrated Design District for four years." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "People are saying where they work. I can't remember the name of my district." The man concludes, ". . . And there you have it! Ha ha!" Dilbert thinks, "Aaagh! Now they're adding witty comments." Dilbert thinks, "I'm drawing a blank. My only chance is to pretend I only speak Norwegian." Dilbert says, "Norna borna corna dorna fiord cajorda. Ha ha ha!" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The amazing thing is that I get paid the same no matter what I do." Dogbert replies, "Thank God for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #scavenging, #too late, #good stuff, #pants, #computer, #technology

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Dilbert chuckles, "Heh heh. Ed is barely out of the door and I got his old computer." Wally says, "The scavenging was a good today." Wally and Dilbert carry off their new possessions. Wally says, "Alice is going to be miffed that she's too late for the good stuff." They run into Alice whos holds a pair of pants and her hair has been imprinted flat on the side. Alice says, "it wasn't easy. He's already made it to the bus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #alice, #Promotion, #dont know, #hired a strsnger, #out side of company, #the boss, #obstructs progress

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The Boss and Alice sitting at table. The Boss says, "Alice, I checked with the other managers; they don't know you well enough to promote you." The Boss continues, "So we've decided to hire someone from outside the company." Alice is stunned. As Alice exits the room, she says, "At least the other managers have heard my name now." The Boss replies, "I didn't use your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors

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Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "I was thinking about how much I enjoy our conversations." Dogbert continues, "They're consistently witty and intellectually stimulating." Dogbert continues, "Then I realized that all of the witty and intellectually stimulating stuff comes from me." Dogbert continues, "Naturally I started wondering what was the point of even having you along." Dogbert continues, "Then I thought about lightning and how it always hits the tallest object." Dogbert continues, "So there IS a slight statistical advantage to having you nearby." A bolt of lightning strikes Dilbert and knocks him off his feet. Dilbert lies on the ground and says, "You aren't going to be witty now, are you?" Dogbert replies, "How can you say that? I'm shocked!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1998's comic on:


Tags #budding forearm, #bone crushing handshake, #hen party, #insulted by wally, #alice shakes hand

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Alice stands with Tina the Tech Writer. Alice holds a hand exerciser. Alice says, "I've beem building up my forearm so I'll have a bone-crushing handshake." Tina says, "Why?" Wally walks up. Wally says, "Hey, what's this - some sort of hen party?" Alice reaches out to shake Wally's hand. Alice smiles. Alice says, "That was very witty, Wally. Congratulations!" Tina says, "Oh."