Years Of Training Comic Strips - Page 10

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View 91 - 100 results for years of training comic strips. Discover the best "Years Of Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buzzwords, #strung together, #same status reprt, #every week, #eleven years, #mission statement

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The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, your status report is just a bunch of buzzwords strung together." Wally replies, "I've been giving you that same status report every week for eleven years." Wally continues, "Five years ago you adopted it as our mission statement."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cleaned tool shed, #running tally, #time waster, #frozen snake, #shovel, #five years one day

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The Boss says to Alice, "This weekend I cleaned out my tool shed." Alice hits a stop watch, "Click." The Boss asks, "What's that for?" Alice responds, "I keep a running tally of how much of my time you waste." The Boss continues, "...And I thought it was a frozen snake but it was actually a shovel!" Alice looks at her clock and mutters, "Five years, one day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training budget slashed, #cancel class, #already paid, #appear smart, #while secretly stupid

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "The training budget got slashed. You have to cancel your class." Dilbert responds, "We already paid for the class." The Boss replies, "We'll look bad if you go." Dilbert says, "So, our plan is to appear smart while secretly being stupid?" The Boss replies, "You can make anything sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interpersonal skills, #propaganda cd, #training cd, #intern, #looking for self imporvement

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Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training cd, #gone bad, #brainwashing, #cyborg, #brain washed

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Dilbert, Asok, and Wally are eating lunch. Asok says, "My training CD has gone bad. It is brainwashing me to become a cyborg." Dilbert responds, "Don't worry. Smart people such as you can't be brainwashed to do stupid things." Asok has transformed into half cyborg. He approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess who doesn't know the first thing about brainwashing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training cd, #brainwashed, #cuborg, #insurance, #cosmetic surgery, #jump off roof, #game system

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Asok is half cyborg. He sits on the doctor's table and says, "My training CD went bad and brainwashed me to become a cyborg." The doctor responds, "Your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery but you can game the system by jumping off the roof." Asok is on the roof, standing next to a man with intensely large ears. The man says to Asok, "I hear that the follow-up visits don't get any easier."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demoted, #one of the little people, #buddy, #anger, #eyebrows, #worked, #years, #snap out of it

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Headline: Demoted. The Boss says to Dilbert, "Hey buddy, can you teach me to be one of the little people?" Dilbert replies, "Buddy? My name is Dilbert. I worked for you for years." The Boss says, "Okay, now I'll try. Am I doing the eyebrows right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommunting, #fired four years, #get email, #stopped coming

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The Boss turns to an employee and asks, "Who are you?" The employee responds, "I'm Allen. I've been telecommuting for four years." The Boss says, "Allen? I fired you four years ago. Didn't you get my e-mail?" Allen and Dilbert are walking. Allen says to Dilbert, "This is exactly why I stopped coming to the office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommuted for 4 years, #fired, #unemployment, #empowerment, #sixth sense

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Dilbert, Allen, and Wally are eating lunch. Allen says, "I telecommuted for four years without knowing until today that I'd been fired." Allen continues, "Apparently unemployment feels exactly like empowerment." Allen continues, "This is just like that movie, 'The Sixth Sense.' Did you like that movie, Wally?... Wally?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #have mail, #twelve years, #glistens, #envelope, #happy, #awed

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Wally and Dilbert are in the mail room. Wally says, "I have mail! I've never had mail in twelve years here." Wally continues, "It's not addressed to me but it was in my box so I'm keeping it." Dilbert asks, "No mail for twelve years?" Wally responds, "If I hold it just right it glistens."