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View 991 - 1000 results for associate with comic strips. Discover the best "Associate With" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #eagles can't fly

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"Wally, the status report that you e-mailed me is blank." "That;s because eagles can't type." "What?" "The motivational poster in the break says I should be like an eagle." "The point of that poster is that your spirit should soar like an eagle while you continue to do mundane work." "Wouldn't I die if my spirit left my body to go soar?" "You're confusing your spirit with your soul." "While your spirit is soaring, your sould should remain, trapped in your body, slowly decaying while you create your status report." "Would it change anything if I got a poster that says "you want it when?!!""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #british acent, #swoon, #fake ccent, #single, #girls fight, #married

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"I think I'm in love with the new guy because of his fake British accent." "He's mine!" "You're married." "I am? Wow! His British accent made me forget." "I say, old beans, did anyone see my brolly on the lift?" "Swoon" "I'm single."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #good advice, #balance, #personal life, #zen approach, #no freinds, #no work, #perfect balance, #zen, #faster

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Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #help balancing, #personal life, #no love, #sound sunhealthy, #pill crybaby, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful

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There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #personal items, #can't be higher, #cucblicl wall, #aesthetic reasons, #doll, #einstein doll, #try this concept, #stock plunge

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"Alice, company policy says that personal items can not be higher than the cubicle wall." "Just out of curiousity, what is the logic behind that bizarre policy?" "We want to maintain a smooth line-of-sight for aesthetic reasons." "Let me see if I understand your point of view." "My Einstein doll makes the cubicle so hideous that our stock will plunge" "Now if I take it down..." "Gasp! It's so beautiful now! My soul is filled with music! My life has meaning!" "Yea! I just noticed that when I look at this doll and you at the same time, you look hideous."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy

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The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #computer freeze, #possible fixes, #possible combination, #no guaretntee, #lazy

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Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #five star restaurant, #lunch, #food so good, #once in a lifetime, #not invited, #stay back, #answer phones

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The Boss: "Carol, I decided to take the entire staff out to a five-star restaurant for lunch." "The food is so good that it's almost intoxicating. When paired with the right wine, the experience is a once-in-a-life-time sensation." "While we're gone, you'll need to answer everyone's phone."