Only One Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Only One

View 991 - 1000 results for only one comic strips. Discover the best "Only One" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"What the...? How can you be relaxed with so much work to do?" "Your mistake is taking pride in how much work you can complete." "You see, Alice, there's an infinite quantity of potential work." "But it's only possible to do a finite amount." "You have set yourself up for certain failure according to your own arbitrary standard." "By way of contrast, I take pride in not taking pride in my work." "I've already achieved my goal and it's not even lunch time yet." "Don't you need a new goal for after lunch?" "I'm aiming for a distended stomach."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Today I had a choice of doing something important that no one would ever realize... "...Or doing something useless that would look like an accomplishment." "So I attended meetings until I could no longer appreciate the difference." "Keep up the good work."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I did a background check and discovered that you embellished your resume." "For example, there's no college named 'The Einstein One.'" "And I'm reasonably certain that 'Smartology' isn't a real major."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Oprah invited me to appear on her show to talk about my book, but I'm too busy. Can you pretend you're me?" "Gosh...Normally I would never do something like that, but it's probably my only chance of being on Oprah. Thank you." "Ow! Ow! Ow!" "Oprah is a surprisingly good puncher."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Can you bring me up to speed before we go to the meeting? "No. You can't fit two gallons in a thimble no matter how fast you pour." "Wait a minute...Which one of us is the thimble?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Your project came in 10% over budget." "Actually, it came in at exactly what I estimated." "You cut my budget by 10% because you wanted to feel like a leader." "I assume you'll give me a huge raise to reward my excellent estimating ability." "Why can't you be like Wally? His project budget was $10,000,000 and he only spent $147." "If you're so smart, explain that!" "That's hard to explain without using the phrase 'You gullible toad.'" "I'm next. What kind of mood is he in?" "Not so good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Let's use our process to figure out why Project Wolverine failed. "There was only one reason: Management discourages employees from voicing opinions." "Wananagewent dutchcourages uth. Boo hoo!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Satan's Vendor "You'll have many benefits after our technology is irrevocably implemented in your network." "For example, when one of our products stops working, we'll blame another vendor within 24 hours." "Do you have free t-shirts?" "Yes. They're made of the finest allergens."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

click click click click click click "I don't believe in using Blackberries. I prefer the old ways." "The only effective way to communicate is person to person." click click click click click click click "What's he babbling about?" click click click "Something about being old." click click "I'm a people person!"