Won't End Well Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for won't end well comic strips. Discover the best "Won't End Well" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #entrepreneurial, #Advice, #drink coffee, #fail, #do nothing, #annoyed

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Wally says, "I'm taking your advice to be more entrepreneurial at my job." Wally says, "Failing 90% of the time is very similar to not trying at all. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell the difference." Wally says, "Which one am I doing now?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #employee, #human resources, #Promotion, #raise, #facebook; social networks, #excited, #business

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Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #stockholder, #meeting, #budget, #waste money, #panic attack, #pucker face, #business

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Stockholder says, "Hi ho! I'm a common stockholder. I'm here to see how my investment is coming along." The Boss says, "Okay, first on the agenda, we need to blow our budget before year end so we don't get less money next year." The Boss says, "How many ten-dollar mouse pads can we get for $10,000?" Stockholder says, "I hope this is a panic attack."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #get coffee, #answer question, #block exit, #stuck, #airvent, #game, #feet

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Coworker says, "Wally do you have a minute?" Wally says, "Nope I'm far too busy." Coworker says, "I'm blocking the only exit. You have no choice but to answer my question." Coworker says, "I blocked the air vent too." Wally says, "Well played."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #piece of paper, #request, #office, #deadline, #vague, #failure, #work hard

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Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #buy, #product, #quote, #angry, #die, #yell, #business

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Dilbert says, "Can you give me a quote by next week?" Coworker says, "Your demeanor tells me that you will never guy our product. You only want the quote as a point reference." Dilbert says, "Or maybe I'm giving you false hope because it's less awkward to end the meeting that way." Coworker says, "Die! Die! Die!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #mistake, #confusion, #department, #business

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The Boss says, "We'll be shutting down our aerospace division because it hasn't won any contracts in two years." The Boss says, "Rumor has it that the admin assistant was faxing all of our bids with the blank side facing up." Carol says, "The blank side isn't supposed to face up?" The Boss says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2009's comic on:


Tags #trip, #money, #economy, #stupidity

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The boss says, "I'm sending you on a trip. Remember that our per diem isn't as extravagant as it was in our golden years." The boss says, "You'll need to use the hotel iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches." Dilbert says, "Will you pay for the bread and cheese?" The boss says, "We'll pay for the bread. But the cheese and free soap are practically the same thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #budget, #rejection, #travel, #dangerous

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Finance trolls Finance troll says, "Your request for airline travel is denied. We don't have the budget for that." Finance troll says, "Company policy requires you to hitchhike with alleged killers and not offer to pay for gas." Dilbert says, "Well, at least things can't get worse." finance troll says, "Apparently you don't know what 'Alleged' means."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #yelling, #angry, #future

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Asok the intern says, "Your generation is leaving my generation a dying planet and a crippling debt." Wally says, "Hee Hee!" Asok the intern says, "But we shall invent life-extending drugs so you will suffer along with us! Ha!" News Wally says, "Uh-oh." Asok the intern says, "We will connect you to machines and keep you alive until the poor demand to eat you." Wally says, "Well played."