Feel Any Luckier Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for Feel Any Luckier

View 991 - 1000 results for feel any luckier comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Any Luckier" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #baked products, #coaches & coaching, #stress, #will power is finite, #cake for lunch, #coaching session, #long hours

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Boss: Studies say willpower is finite. If you use it for one thing, you have less for another. So if it feels hard to work long hours, without any reward, try eating cake for lunch. Wally: How'd your coaching session go? Dilbert: For once, it wasn't all bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #allegiance, #patents, #corporate secuirty, #shadowy figure, #secrets, #offering, #alternatives, #repeat business

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Boss: If a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets, what should you do? Dilbert: How much is he offering? Boss: That shouldn't matter. Dilbert: How can I compare alternatives? Wally: Would there be any repeat business in this scenario? Corporate Security

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #judge them, #chipmunk, #judge algebra, #complex and useful, #innovative circuit design, #engineer, #office setting, #desks, #computers, #engineering

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Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #obliviousness, #million units, #customers happy, #our goals, #their goals, #this quarter

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CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #tests, #orange buttons, #more clicks, #than green, #lost faith, #human intelligence, #green looks better, #liberated, #tyranny of thinking

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Dilbert: Our A-B tests show that orange buttons get 13% more clicks than green. I have now officially lost all faith in human intelligence. Boss: Stick with the green. It looks better. Dilbert: Sure. I feel liberated from the tyranny of thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #close friends, #facebook, #fix problem, #friends, #liked, #posts, #seven friends, #therapy, #shrink, #popularity, #social media, #technology, #psychology

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Dilbert: No one "likes" my Facebook posts. woman: How many Facebook friends do you have? Dilbert: Seven. Woman: Are they close friends? Dilbert: How do you define close? Woman: Have you here invited any of these people to your house? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Woman: I can't fix your problem. SO instead , I'll plant some false memories and try to fox those later. Do you remember being a robot that was designed by alines? Dilbert: No. woman: are you sure? Dilbert: I was.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

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Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #thinking, #product ideas, #billion dollar ideas, #unwilling, #corporation, #dumb person idea, #pretend, #drone that attacks, #wooden screen phone

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Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #email, #email down, #guy in hopsital, #ouija board, #limited rescources

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Dilbert: Email is down again. Mordac: The only guy who can fix it is in the hospital. Dilbert: So... if he dies, we can never again have email? Mordac: Maybe. Dilbert: Is there any way I can reach him? Mordac: Wait a week and try a Oiji board.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #human resources, #random statements, #ostriches eye, #bigger than brain, #randomness, #confession, #job interview, #approved questions, #business

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Boss: I'm only allowed to ask interview questions that have been approved by Human Resources. And they haven't approved any yet. So all I can do is make random statements. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Interviewee: So is mine!