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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2006's comic on:


Tags #cartonnist, #breaks third wall, #toto, #follow yellow sticky, #notes, #fantasy

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"Uh-oh. Why am I still here? What's happening to me?" "I violated the third wall and now I can't get out!" "Dogbert? Is that really you???" "No, I'm Toto. We must follow the yellow sticky-note road." Continued

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I bought you a bumper sticker that says you give money to police charities. "Now you can ignore traffic laws with total impunity." "This is the greatest bumper sticker ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Tech Support "Before I can help you, I need your tech support product identification code." "You can find it by going to your local landfill and digging until you see your product's original packaging." "But don't disturb the seagulls or they'll peck off your face."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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The Sales Call "I brought my egghead to talk to your egghead while you and I make out." "Our web services employ XML, Soap and WSDL to achieve interoperable HTTP modules." Mmm mmm mmm "Do you ever think we might be in the wrong jobs?" "I'm not going to kiss you." Mmm mmm

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, why isn't my e-mail working today?" "The Internet is full." "Great! Now what do I do?" "I wonder if I'm supposed to see anything when it's draining."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Seminar on Work-Life Balance "This is Allen. He didn't balance his work and personal lives." "Allen did nothing but work, work, work. And now look at him." "I'm the one who tried to balance everything. That's Allen. He's a @#!$% CEO now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #plant maintenance, #contract, #save money, #adopt plant, #unluckiest plant, #coffee dregs

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"We canceled our plant maintenance contract to save money." "Each employee will adopt a nearby plant and water it." The Unluckiest Plant in the Whole World "Now when I pour my coffee dregs on you, it will look like work!" "Must...run..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2006's comic on:


Tags #assistant, #mood, #frustration, #ignore, #ignoring, #attitude, #psychology

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"Carol, I need some three-ring binders and a reservation for the conference room on Thursday." "I don't like the way you asked, so I'm going to make a phone call until you give up and leave." "Yeah, the big jerk is still standing there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2006's comic on:


Tags #asok, #survival methods, #indian institutet of technology, #wounded rodent, #tickle hawk, #find highway

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I must use the survival methods I learned at the Indian Institute of Technology. "Step one: Pretend to be a wounded rodent." "Now look for the highway and tickle the hawk with its own feather."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2006's comic on:


Tags #less prodcutive, #automatic promotion, #hiring, #work like idiot, #look like idiot, #pointy haired alice

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"Alice, I need you to be less productive." "I'll get an automatic promotion if I can justify hiring one more direct report." "If I'm going to work like an idiot, I might as well look like one."