Lie About Achievments Comic Strips - Page 100
1000 Results for Lie About Achievments
View 991 - 1000 results for lie about achievments comic strips. Discover the best "Lie About Achievments" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 02, 2010's comic on:
Catbert says, "Wally, we're concerned about the comments you made on your anonymous employee survey." Catbert says, "Your comments are disturbingly similar to the unabomber's manifesto." Wally says, "He was a good writer." Catbert says, "We have a problem." Wally says, "Is it a copyright thing?"
Share September 07, 2010's comic on:
Woman says, "I love your tie-dyed overalls. That's a bold look." Dilbert says, "Actually, my job is cleaning crime scenes. I didn't have time to change." Dilbert says, "The singles scene is all about how you look."
Share September 11, 2010's comic on:
Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."
Share September 13, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."
Share September 27, 2010's comic on:
Woman says, "What's your take on this, Dilbert?" Dilbert says, "What? Sorry. I was using this time to think about something useful." Woman says, "Maybe your boss can fill you in." The Boss says, "I was brain-golfing."
Share October 04, 2010's comic on:
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Share October 08, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "The customer is an attractive young woman. You'll need to bring a handsome man with you to translate." The Boss says, "The translator will repeat everything you say, word for word, but he'll say it more handsomely." Dilbert says, "Hi." Customer says, "What's he jabbering about?"
Share October 12, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."
Share October 30, 2010's comic on:
Catbert says, "For the past six months you've done nothing but update your Facebook page." Catbert says, "Now we have an opening for a marketing manager for social networks and you're totally qualified. It's a huge raise and promotion." Man says, "Crime pays! I knew it!!!" Catbert says, "We're hoping you can lie as well as you steal."
Share November 01, 2010's comic on:
Catbert says, "I'm getting a lot of complaints about you eating your lunch in the clean room." Catbert says, "And people don't like it when you use a loofah in there." The Boss says, "That's my french bread. And I can't help it if my back itches."