Snap You Into Next Week Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Snap You Into Next Week

View 991 - 1000 results for snap you into next week comic strips. Discover the best "Snap You Into Next Week" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #met objectives, #packed schedule, #urgent, #handle this, #sample of handwriting

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Performance Review." The Boss says, "Let's see how many of your objectives you met." Dilbert asks, "What objectives?" The Boss looks at a piece of pape and says, "Didn't you know you had objectives?" Dilbert replies, "I don't see how I would have had time to work on objectives." Dilbert continues, "My schedule was packed." The Boss asks, "Doing what?" Dilbert replies, "Every morning you leave things on my chair with a sign that says, 'Urgent: Handle this.'" The Boss replies, "No I don't." Dilbert walks into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, can I see a sample of your handwriting?" Wally thinks, "Uh-oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #discontinue, #profcits, #recorded message, #redirect, #serve customers better, #tech support, #evil

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted sits at the conference table next to Dilbert. He says, "We're discontinuing technical support of all our products." Ted continues, "A recorded message will explain it to the called this way..." Ted says, "'In order to serve our customers better, we've discontinued technical support.'" Dilbert looks at Ted and asks, "How does that serve customers better?" Ted answers, "We'll redirect those resources to other areas." Dilbert asks, "What other areas?" Ted replies, "Profits." Ted continues, "That makes your bonus larger. Any other questions?" Dilbert says, "Apparently I'm engulfed in evil." Ted says, "That's the spirit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss office, #coup, #parked, #reserved spot, #scheduled meetings

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is holding a briefcase and he says to Carol, who is at her computer: "Carol, you parked in my reserved space." Carol hands a sheet of paper to the boss ans says: "I scheduled you to drive to meetings all day." The boss answers: "Oh." Carol is at her cubicle and thinks: "Tomorrow I move my stuff into his office and the coup is complete."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #paul tergeist, #computer, #shoots up, #falls on head, #Dilbert, #coworker, #monitor head

View Transcript

Transcript

Paul Tergeist is sitting with Dilbert in front of the computer at Dilbert's cubicle. Paul says: "This technology will work or my name isn't Paul Tergeist." Suddently, the monitor rockets into the air. The two watch it with stupefaction as it ascends. The monitor lands on Dilbert's head. Paul says: "I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened to a co-worker." Dilbert simply says: "Ow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless awards, #famous people, #celebrities, #award ceremony, #become pretigious, #dogcart gullibility awards, #honor, #nominated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert are on the couch, relaxing at home. Dogbert says: "I'm planning to give worthless awards to famous people." Dogbert continues: "If enough celebrities come to the award ceremony, it will become prestigious." Hair flying in the wind, a celebrity in his convertible speaks into his cell-phone: "I've never heard of the Dogbert Gullibility Award, but it's an honor to be nominated."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bv day, #boss vacation, #pretend working, #all day with binder

View Transcript

Transcript

Consulting his planner, Wally tells a co-worker: "I can't meet next Tuesday because that's a B.V. day." The co-worker asks: "B.V.?" Wally explains: "Boss Vacation. I don't need to pretend I'm working that day." Consulting his planner again, Wally continues: "And on Wednesday I'll be walking around all day with a binder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #action items, #filberts mother, #gnp, #not giving back, #tuition money, #costs for strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont pay enough, #hire brilliant people, #web team, #stock options

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee explains to the Boss: "We don't pay enough to hire brilliant people for our web team." She continues: "I need webiot savants who don't know they should have better jobs." At a hiring interview the the applicant says: "I'd expect stock options, of course." She turns and yells, "Next!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one page report, #two page executive summary, #spend the day, #snapping underwear, #elastic band

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disablity, #jiggle the camera, #test, #walls claim, #sneak, #camera, #caught, #spy, #window, #unsuspecting

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok goes to Dilbert's house to spy on him. While video taping Dilbert's actions, Asok thinks to himself, "Wally's claim of disability will be put to the test." Now from a different view in Dilbert's yard (next to the fence), Asok thinks to himself, "Here we go...oh, yeah...come to Asok...go, baby, go!" Back at the office, Catbert asks Asok "Does he ever move?" Asok replies innocently, "It looks that way when I jiggle the camera."