First Motivated Employee Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for First Motivated Employee

View 991 - 1000 results for first motivated employee comic strips. Discover the best "First Motivated Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

Thank you for voting.
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Has Higher Income

Thank you for voting.
Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Agreeing With The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Inexperienced Employee Advice

Thank you for voting.
Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

The Inexperienced Employee.

Thank you for voting.
The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.

.

Thank you for voting.
. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new employee is doing such great work that he makes the rest of you look like chimpanzees. I think you know what you need to do. Wally: Sabotage all of his projects. Boss: Try to do it before he takes my job.

Wally Covers For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?

Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #danger, #employees, #frustration, #office workers, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Business Agility Influencer

Thank you for voting.
Business Agility Influencer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #agility, #solution, #meaningless, #useless

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: hi, i'm a business agility influencer and solutionist wally: i don't think that means anything ted: why are you the first person to spot that? wally: because i'm useless too!