Listening To Little People Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for listening to little people comic strips. Discover the best "Listening To Little People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel budget, #training budget, #training support, #software busdget, #training, #mandatory software upgarde, #brains

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Alice: Our travel budget is shot. The Boss: We'll take money out of the training budget. Dilbert: We need training to support our new product. The Boss: We'll use the software budget for training. Asok: We need to do a mandatory software upgrade. Fine. Move some money from teh travel budget to the software budget. The Boss: Geez, you people do nothing but complain. Meanwhile I'm managing my brains out. Alice: I wondered what happened to them. The boss: Happened to what?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #pointing, #everyone else, #business

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The boss: Who needs a little management help on their project? "You could almost feel the teamwork in the air."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asbestos, #ceiling, #no worries, #disturbed, #plan to be disturbed

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The Boss: The facilities people tell me there's asbestos in the ceiling. They say you don't need to worry about it unless it gets disturbed. They plan to disturb it today.

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"Wally, too many people are asking me for things. How can I set priorities?" "Wait until everyone is yelling at you and then help whoever makes the scariest threat on any given day." "Is that what you do?" "No, I tell people to go ask you."

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"Wally, did you finish the detailed analysis?" "No, I'm more of a big picture kind of guy." "Why didn't you tell me that a week ago when I asked?" "I don't like to disappoint people." "What the @#$% do you think I am now?!" "Hey, I think I'm starting to like disappointing people!"

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"I disappoint people, but I'm learning to enjoy it." "The key to happiness is to love who you are, not who others want you to be." "Doesn't that make you a sociopath?" "Yeah. I love that about me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"

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Did you know that loneliness can't be cured by listening to others? "You can only feel alive and whole when others are listening to you?" "What do you think of that?" "Think of what?"

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And now for another round of e-mail judo. "Let's see...This guy wants me to attend a meeting." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him I'm booked." "This guy wants some information." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him my hard drive crashed." "This idiot wants my input on his document." "Eee-yah! I'll tell him the attachment won't open." "Who's winning today?" "Not the people who sent me e-mail. Eee-yah!"

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"Hi, I'm Jeff, the human ashtray." "I like to lean in real close to people so they can enjoy my aroma!" "OW! OW! OW!" "Sounds like someone is getting his ash kicked."