Long In Back Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Long In Back

View 991 - 1000 results for long in back comic strips. Discover the best "Long In Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Saving Babies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saving Babies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, reputation, fire

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?

Boss Edits Dumb Parts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Edits Dumb Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, edit

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.

App For Random Praise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
App For Random Praise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, criticism, office, praise

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i've stopped trying to understand what you do all day long. the boss: now i use an app that reminds me at random times to praise you or to criticize you. alice: that is the dumbest thing you have ever done. the bosses cell phone: ping! the boss: keep up the good work!

Lawyers Take Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, lawyers, office, agreement, years

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.

When Wally Is Busy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Wally Is Busy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, busy, witnesses

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: are you busy? wally: yes. tina: when should i check back? wally: when i'm not busy. tina: when are you not busy? wally: whenever there are no witnesses.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, misunderstanding, obliviousness, Parenting, adoption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

New Cubicles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, employees, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, frustrated, managers & supervisors, office workers, report, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".