Lost Free Will Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lost Free Will

View 991 - 1000 results for lost free will comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Free Will" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone bill, expense, award, speech, lost cell phone, low bill, company phone

View Transcript

Transcript

"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags over head storage, anxiety, doesn't fit, baggae, luggae, army on, above seat, iowa, airplane

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: GAAA!!! Im having overhead storage anxiety!! It doesn't fit! Everyone will hate me for delaying the flight! Flight attendant: We ere scheduled to fly to new york, but thanks to the bag that didn't fit, we have to leave in Iowa.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags airplane, flight, seats, no room, sleep, six hour flight, recline seat, sleeper, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Six - hour flight. I can get lots of work done, Six hour flight. I can get lost of sleep. Dilbert: I can't feel my hands!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, worer, 40 million a year, 400 x worker pay, salary, disparity, golden egg, every ten minutes, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags products saftyproblem, murderer, killer, swallowed a squirrel, scone

View Transcript

Transcript

Ask: "Alice, if I fail to blow the whistle on our product's safety product, I will be like a murderer!" Alice: "No, technically you'd be more like a killer, you wuss." Asok: "My guts feel like I swallowed a squirrel." Alice: "You have totally sucked the flavor out of this scone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety law, ceo, email ceo, blah blah blah, negligence, people die, products safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags risk, pr plan, karma, extra fee, infinite fabric, britney spear, hairstly, back hair

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert does PR." "There's some risk that the PR plan will cause you bad kharma." "Ooh." "For an extra fee, I can do some PR work aimed at the infinite fabric of the universe to innoculate you." "And I think I can get Britney Spears to wear your hairstyle." "Can you get her to grow her hair on her back, too?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags send threatening emails, train new guy, easily downsize later, boss threatens alice, job security, male, female, training, alices bad advice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Alice, I want you to train Ned to do everything you do." "Don't worry that it will make you redundant more easily downsizeable." Alice: "I like to start each day by sending threatening e-mail to the board of directors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags typo discovered, driving staretgy, eberyone, avery wong, free delivery

View Transcript

Transcript

Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lisa, woman, happy owman, nice woman, engineers liked, appaorachable, cubicle, gifts, poems, Food, replacing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Now Dilbert will explain what went wrong with our projects this year." DILBERT: "All of our problems were caused by a woman named Lisa." "Lisa never learned to act aloof and unapproachable. Sometimes she smiles and men she doesn't even know." "Gasp." "Gasp." "As you know, 90% of engineers are lonely men." "A permanent line formed outside her cubicle." "The engineers brought her food, gifts and poems that weren't as funny as they'd hoped." "Food, Gifts, Poems (bad)." "I recommend replacing Lisa with someone more like this." Alice: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Asok: "My poems aren't funny?"