New Boat Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Boat

View 991 - 1000 results for new boat comic strips. Discover the best "New Boat" comics from Dilbert.com.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #deception, #perspective, #work, #office, #marriage, #psychology, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

Dick From The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick From The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet, #comment, #jerk, #racism, #misconstrue, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.

Robot Learns To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

New Company Mascot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Company Mascot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hunchback, #posture, #transformation, #health, #body

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I hear you're undergoing an identity transition. Dilbert: No, I just have bad posture from looking at a screen all day. I'm not literally turning into Quasimodo. Catbert: That's too bad, because we need a new mascot for the company and you would be perfect.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

New Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.

Wally Gets Referral Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gets Referral Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #con, #deception, #hiring, #money, #referral, #scheme, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!