New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 991 - 1000 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday February 10,
2016
New Company Mascot
Tags hunchback, posture, transformation, health, body
Transcript
Catbert: I hear you're undergoing an identity transition. Dilbert: No, I just have bad posture from looking at a screen all day. I'm not literally turning into Quasimodo. Catbert: That's too bad, because we need a new mascot for the company and you would be perfect.
Thursday February 11,
2016
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`
Tags posture, mascot, success, hunchback, work ethic, reward
Transcript
CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.
Sunday March 13,
2016
Tags managing, work ethic, laziness, deception, trick
Transcript
Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.
Saturday April 09,
2016
New Ted
Tags hiring, generic, job, placeholder, disposable, guest artist, brenna thummler, business
Transcript
Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.
Thursday May 26,
2016
Wally Gets Referral Money
Tags bonus, con, deception, hiring, money, referral, scheme, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Wally: Stop! Why are you here? Man: I have an interview for a job as an engineer. Wally: My name is Wally. Tell Human Resources I referred you ad I'll get a $1,000 bonus. Boss: Have you noticed that all of our new hires were referred by the same person? Catbert: Sounds like we found our Employee Of The Year!
Friday May 27,
2016
Wally Is Employee Of The Year
Tags cheating, referral, employment, reward, award, bonus, proof, guest artist, jake tapper
Transcript
Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.
Sunday July 17,
2016
Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.
Monday July 18,
2016
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles
Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags cell phone, big business, fragile, iphone, technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

