Out Of Engineer Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Out Of Engineer
View 991 - 1000 results for out of engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Out Of Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday October 09,
2007
Tags #converstaion, #need to be right, #annoying, #pointed out, #date, #blame
Transcript
You treat every conversation like it's a contest where you have to be the one who is right! Dilbert: "It only seems that way because everything you say is wrong." "See? There it is!" Dilbert: "I'm pretty sure that was you again."
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Friday October 12,
2007
Tags #unqualified crony, #rebellion, #staff, #blow out of proportion, #monitor situation
Transcript
Dilbert: Your unqualified crony is causing a rebellion among the staff. The Boss: "There's not need to blow this all out of proportion." "But I promise to monitor the situation."
Sunday October 14,
2007
Tags #write code, #faster, #high level of effciciency, #recognized, #rewarded, #works for you, #finish all projects, #one hour
Transcript
Asok: I found a clever way to write my application code in one hour! "Normally this sort of thing would take weeks." "I assume my high level of efficiency will be recognized and rewarded." Alice: "Let me know how that works out for you." The Boss: "You did all of that in one hour?" Asok: "Yes. I did." The Boss: "From now on. I expect you to finish all of your projects in one hours." "Otherwise I'll assume you're ripping off the company." Asok: "You could have warned me." Alice: "That's not how experience works."
Tuesday November 20,
2007
Tags #borrow pen, #need pen, #order pen, #order pens, #parasitic arrangement, #supplies, #stingy, #selfish, #dysfunctional offcie, #office supplies, #fill out form
Transcript
Dilbert: "Can I order some pens?" Carol: "No, it's impossible." "You need a pen to fill out the pen request form. And if you have a pen, you're not allowed to order one." Dilbert: "Maybe I could borrow your pen." Carol: "That sounds like some sort of parasitic arrangement."
Wednesday November 28,
2007
Tags #tech writer, #stack of papers, #speed of writing, #breakthrough, #realize accuracy, #optional, #micromanage, #errors
Transcript
Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"
Monday December 24,
2007
Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Friday December 28,
2007
Tags #alice quits, #2 weeks notice, #20% raise, #calls father, #quitter, #moron, #raise instead of quit
Transcript
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."
Saturday January 05,
2008
Tags #intern, #mole, #secret, #undercover, #hidden, #blended, #rodent, #animal, #mouselike
Transcript
Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"
Thursday January 10,
2008
Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.
Monday January 14,
2008
Tags #everyone informed, #out of loop, #witnessing birth, #birth of child, #envy, #project, #happy, #miracle
Transcript
The Boss: It's too hard to keep everyone informed about everything. I've decided to take you out of the loop. Wally: Really?? Now I know what fathers mean when they talk about witnessing the birth of their children. Dilbert: Lucky!