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View 991 - 1000 results for queen alice comic strips. Discover the best "Queen Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee attitude survey, #bigger bonuses, #happy, #money, #lie, #no lying, #surveys, #science, #new couch

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The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #cubicles, #open plan, #special class, #transition, #invisible walls, #business

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CAtbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: cubicles are too expensive. we're moving to an open plan, You'll attend a special classy to ease your transition. Wally: its like he's in a cubicle with invisible walls!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fax to voice line, #prank, #on purpose, #pain, #bother, #harass, #anger, #mad

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Hello? This is Alice. BEEEP BEEEP You are faxing to my voice line gain you #!!%* Dilbert: How often do you fax to her voice line? wally: It depends if she's been bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over priced harware, #server upgarades, #coincidence

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The Boss: "I decided to buy all of our server upgrades through Bribertek, Inc." Dilbert: "Question: Are we buying overpriced hardware because they offered you a job?" "Because if we're paying extra to get rid of you, it's money well spent." "It's a coincidence!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress code, #tank tops, #belly shirts, #ruined meeting

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"I've been forced to update the dress code." "Effective today, tank tops and belly shirts are not allowed in the office." "Once again, you've ruined it for everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security guard, #company owned assets, #under clothes, #smuggled out, #pilferage

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whoa! whoa! where do you think you're going? you look bloated today as if you have company -owned assets under your clothes. I need to stop relying on my instincts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol away, #sexist commentray, #mis interpret, #copy machine, #name calling, #accidental, #insulted, #anger, #scream, #satisfied

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"My secretary is off, and I need to make copies of this..." "Oh, I get it! You immediately ask the only woman in the department to do it! #!%**$!!" "Lazy #!%*$*!!#" "I was going to ask where the copy machine is, but this works, too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

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Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brown bag seminars, #ethical, #ethics problems, #seminar

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The Boss: The company will be holding a series of brown bag seminars on corporate ethics. Dilbert:is it ethical to steal our lunch hour and pretend that the ethics problems sent come from our executives? The Boss: I wouldn't know because I haven't taken the seminar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert

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The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"