Say Bad Things Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Say Bad Things

View 991 - 1000 results for say bad things comic strips. Discover the best "Say Bad Things" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, lazy, specific, understand, quibbled about methodology, bought crickets, wait for answer, borrow crisckets

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Uh-oh. I don't understand a word of this. What did other people say about it? Dilbert: A few people quibbles about the methodology. The boss: Right, well, yes, the methodology does have a few issues. Dilbert: Can you be more specific? I brought some crickets to keep me company while I wait for your answer. chirp chirp chirp chirp Alice: I'm up next. Can I borrow the crickets? Dilbert: They're a little tired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad idea, saving & investment, financial advisor, diseased livestock, sick cow, aggregate, math, savvy, education, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags agree, disagree, idea, plan, terrible idea, worst ever idea, bordering irresponsible, disagrees with everyone, idea is awful, manipulate me, terrible tidea, dance puppet dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, costume, date, lying, work clothes, scapegoat, depatment, entire comapny, men in unifrom

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, garbage, gift, sarcasm, re gifted, free

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert says, "The best things in life are free, so I got you this." Dilbert says, "This looks like trash from my garbage can." Ratbert says, "You're welcome." Ratbert says, "I only chewed on the delicious parts!" Dilbert says, "Spank you very much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags form, signature, anger, frustration, questions

View Transcript

Transcript

woman says, "You need to sign the corporate code of conduct." Wally says, "Wow! You're totally hot." woman says, "Um?That's inappropriate, and you need to sign the code of conduct." Wally says, "I don't have a pen, can you take it back to your cubicle and sign it for me?" woman says, "No. And I think you're lying about not having a pen. But maybe we can find one for you." Wally says, "See if Dilbert is in his cubicle, I usually take his stuff and blame the cleaners." woman says, "Just sign the #%!*! code of conduct or I will crush your stupid, bald head!" Wally says, "Do I need to read it?" Woman says, "No. Just say you did."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worried, nervousness, humor, laziness, occupation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'm tense because the company is downsizing and I have no project." Wally says, "Being worthless at work is only hard for the first ten years. After that it's a lifestyle." Dilbert says, "I didn't say I was worthless." Wally says, "Now you're making me nostalgic for my old denial phase."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, help, meeting, injury, violence, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have no project of my own, so I wander the cubicles offering unsolicited advice." Dilbert says, "Speaking of which, you should put a little extra thought into your cooling system design. It looks monkey-made." Dilbert says, "I'm discovering that honest and helpful are a bad combination."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, interview, job, employment, humiliation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I bought the company that fired you. Now you can interview with me for your old job." Dilbert says, "You already know everything about me. An interview would have no purpose other than to humiliate me." "Dogbert says, "Since when do things need two purposes?" "Is Tuesday good?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags etiquette & ethics, lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, we're getting killed by bad customer reviews online." The boss says, "I need you to pretend you're several different customers and write positive reviews." Asok says, "Doesn't that break some sort of law?" The boss says, "Heck no. it only crosses some ethical boundaries and violates the term of service for the web site." The boss says, "And depending on your religious views, it might be a hiccup on your way to paradise." The boss says, "But I'm almost certain there won't be any jail time or eternal damnation." Asok says, "Well...okay." The boss says, "And be sure to defame our competitors."