Stop Level Meeting Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for Stop Level Meeting

View 991 - 1000 results for stop level meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Level Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #christmas presents, #embarrassment, #merry christmas, #network design meeting, #brand of makeup, #hid, #loobby, #elevator, #closet for months, #creepiness

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Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2011's comic on:


Tags #excitement, #gloating, #awesome bob, #dry cleaner, #flying wing suit

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Boss: I'm excited because I have a meeting in a few minutes with Awesome Bob. Everything he does is just a little bit more awesome than what anyone else does. Carol: He's running late because the dry cleaner couldn't get the sushi stains out of his flying wingsuit. Boss: AWESOME!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #lobbying, #lobbiest, #bribers, #holiday, #birthdays, #lucrative job, #tax breaks, #company tax breaks, #interview

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Man: Your lobbyist said I could have a lucrative job here someday if I support tax breaks for your company. I have offers from other bribers, so I thought I'd stop by and see how this dump compares. Dilbert: Suddenly I know too much. Man: Fetch me some coffee and I'll make your birthday a holiday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking, #project management, #life cycle, #abtraction, #weightless, #management process

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Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #roboshark, #cubicle distance, #12 feet, #territorial waters, #robot, #scare tactics

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Alice: Stop using the aisle behind my cubicle. It's distracting. Everything within twelve feet of my cubicle are my territorial waters. Ted: You can't enforce that. Alice: Tell that to my roboshark.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

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Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #criticize, #enjoy anticipation, #fighting, #incented, #staff meeting

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Boss: I'm waiting for people to walk by so I can criticize you in front of others. Dilbert: What? Boss: I want the criticism to sting as much as possible so you'll be incented to do all the right things in the future. I guess it can wait until the staff meeting. Dilbert: That way I can enjoy the anticipation, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #destructive criticism, #dumb, #employees, #team, #hired, #meeting, #business

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Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets

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CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #secretary, #busy day, #phone rings, #lunch, #meetings, #bad timing

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Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think. ONE HOUR LATER Alice: Im on the phone. TWO HOURS LATER Alice: Im late for a meeting. THREE HOURS LATER Alice: Come back when Im not busy. FOUR HOURS LATER ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch. FIVE HOURS LATER Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you? Dilbert: Okay, so.... ring Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.