Way Of Saying Fired Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for way of saying fired comic strips. Discover the best "Way Of Saying Fired" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #team, #teamwork, #team building, #death, #cover-up, #denial, #human resources, #drowning, #rafting, #business, #medical

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Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report

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Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #evidence, #excuses, #hackers, #hacking, #laziness, #assignment, #elbonians, #a, #zing report

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Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.

Asok's Phone Case

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Asok's Phone Case  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #aesthetics, #impractical, #practicality, #break, #screen, #technology

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Asok: I kept dropping my phone and breaking it, so now I keep it wrapped in a big ball of cotton. Wally: Why would you buy a phone that breaks so easily? Asok: I like the way it looks.

Insulting Within Company Guidelines

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 Insulting Within Company Guidelines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers

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DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...

Coworkers Who Are Special

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Coworkers Who Are Special  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultation, #insults, #fired, #pay, #Advice, #special, #compliment

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Dogbert Consults Never call your co-worker a colossal moron, That could get you fired. Instead , say, "well, aren't you special" Dilbert: Are we paying you for this advice? Dogbert: well, aren't you special.

Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong

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 Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #wrong, #right vs. wrong, #narcissist, #refuse to admit

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Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Optimal Meeting Density

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Optimal Meeting Density  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business

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Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.

Two Hour Summary

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Two Hour Summary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #listening, #communication, #interpretation

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Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #interview, #hiring, #honesty, #immoral, #ulterior motives

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Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.