Why Don't We Format Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Why Don't We Format

View 991 - 1000 results for why don't we format comic strips. Discover the best "Why Don't We Format" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consultsincentivize the resources, #grow bandwidth, #end state vision, #kimono, #consult and blabbery, #core competencies, #brain dump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults. Incentivize the resources to grow within their bandwidth to your end-state vision. "Don't open the Kimono until you ping the change agent for brain dump and drill down to your core competencies." "Confused look...huge invoice...this man is a victim of consult and blabbery."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #fearless adventurer, #chief financial iofficer, #bungee cord

View Transcript

Transcript

It's good P.R. for the company when the CEO is a fearless adventurer. "Sounds dangerous." "Don't worry. I've asked chief financial officeer to be in charge of safety." "Okay who estimated the length of the bungee cord?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #design plan, #questions, #egyptian hieroglyphocs, #patent, #hieroglyphics, #ancient egyptians, #microchips patent laws

View Transcript

Transcript

"And that's my design plan. Are there any questions?" "It reminds me of Eqyptian Hieroglyphics. Are you sure they didn't patent it?" "Um...I don't think that's likely." "But there's still some risk?" "First of all, I didn't use Hieroglyphics. Secondly, the ancient Egyptians didn't have microchips. Thirdly, they didn't have patent laws." "Good point. " "Oh yeah? Then how did they build pyramids?" "Do some research on that question and get back to us next week" "Next on the agenda: why do our projects take so long?" "What?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #do something, #let you know, #spitting on forehead, #whats worng

View Transcript

Transcript

"When you do something that I don't like, I'll let you know by cursing and then spitting on your forehead." "Maybe you could just tell me what I did wrong." "#*$@!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #don't sit by popel, #full flight, #suitcase, #overhead comaprtment, #bin, #scotch over

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your seat is next to mine, but I don't like to sit by people." "It's a full flight, so I don't see how I could...oh dear..." "No, I wll not 'scooch over.'" "News!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #wrong budget, #no probelms, #unrealitic, #failure, #deceptive forecstas, #believe the lie, #deception, #optimism, #few hours, #perfect budget

View Transcript

Transcript

"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever." "So?" "All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong." "Leaders do not plan for failure." "Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?" "No." "A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe." "GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!" "The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget." "What?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #demanding bribes, #overpaid consultants, #legal, #won't get caught

View Transcript

Transcript

"The Elbonians are demanding bribes, or else they won't do business with us." "Hire them as overpaid consultants and don't ask them for anything. That way, it's all legal." "And by legal you mean won't get caught?" "Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #elbonia bid, #nuclear war head, #plans, #internet, #few things modified, #ginat toaster, #enriched bread, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"We won the Elbonia bid, but I had to promise we'd give them plans to build a nuclear warhead." "Don't worry. I got the plans off the Internet and I modified a few things." "Now all we need is some highly enriched bread."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #alice, #boss, #car call, #diustarcted, #made distracted, #driving, #crashed

View Transcript

Transcript

Rrring! Alice : Now what? This is alice. Jo its your boss. alice: GAAA! its a car call. he's using me toenetratin himself while he's sitting in traffic Boss: How everything? Alice: I'll lose and hour of my life if I don't get him off the phone, Boss: Nice weather today. Alice: Do me a favor and look in your brief case to see if my latest report is there. The boss: Okay. The boss: and turn down your radio so Ic an hear you...and check your calendar on you pda GAA!!! CRASH! IM going to hell.