Work Smarter Comic Strips - Page 100
1000 Results for Work Smarter
View 991 - 1000 results for work smarter comic strips. Discover the best "Work Smarter" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 31, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."
Share September 03, 2009's comic on:
Wally says, "Can I work from home? There are too many distractions in the office." The boss says, "Don't you have just as many distractions at your house?" Wally says, "Not unless my idiot couch starts questioning all of my great suggestions."
Share September 08, 2009's comic on:
Share September 10, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"
Share September 21, 2009's comic on:
Wally says, "I did no work this week because I judged the user's specifications to be inadequate." Wally says, "Should I continue to do nothing or do you prefer I use incomplete specs to produce useless designs?" Wally says, "The next thing you hear is something called leadership."
Share September 22, 2009's comic on:
The Boss says, "Tina, you can't work at home anymore because the admins can't do it, and they're jealous." Tina says, "I'm a technical writter. Why don't you explain to the admins that my job is different from theirs." The Boss says, "When you find a big kettle of crazy, it's best not to stir it."
Share September 25, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"
Share October 13, 2009's comic on:
the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."
Share October 16, 2009's comic on:
the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."
Share October 18, 2009's comic on:
the Boss says, "I need you to write a white paper for an industry trade association." Dilbert says, "Fine, but that will leave me with less time to work on my project." The Boss says, "Do the trade association stuff during your unproductive time." Dilbert says, "What exactly is my 'Unproductive time'?" The Boss says ,"It goes by many names, including sleep, leisure and healthy lifestyle." Dilbert says, "If I do less of those things it will reduce the quality of my life below the point at which good hygiene has any utility." The Boss says, "I don't want to make out with your. I just want you to work harder for no extra money." The Boss thinks, "I spend too much time explaining the obvious."