Complain About Attitude Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for Complain About Attitude

View 991 - 1000 results for complain about attitude comic strips. Discover the best "Complain About Attitude" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #call cemter, #reduce call, #questions, #products, #interface, #average call, #bonus, #priesthood, #mistake

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THE CALL CENTER: A worker sits in front of a computer wearing a telephone headset. A woman supervisor says to him, "Carl, reduce your average call time or you're history." Dilbert holds a portable telephone in his hand and presses buttons to dial a number to the sound of "Beep beep beep beep." Carl answers the phone angrily, saying, "What?!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "I have a question about your product." Carl yells into the telephone, "Faster! Faster! Faster!" Dilbert says into his telephone, "Um... It's about the interface." Dilbert hears Carl say, "Great. Thanks." There is the sound "click." Carl's supervisor says to him, "Your average call time is way down. You get a bonus." Carl holds his bonus check and thinks to himself, "Maybe it's a mistake to do this job while I study for the priesthood."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #goal set, #illadvised, #impossible goal, #life, #other people, #whats wrong life

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Dilbert sits opposite The Boss' desk and hears The Boss say, "You have failed to meet a goal set by our CEO." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Do you mean the impossible goal, the ill-advised one, or the one you didn't tell me about?" Carrying his briefcase, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I figured out what's wrong with life: It's other people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock analyst, #good things, #company, #weasels, #business

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Dogbert: your stock will rise if a stock analyst says good things about your company. The Boss: how is that even possible? Dogbert: one word: weasels. weasels: I just found my new pick and shovel core holding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #free dart board, #monkey, #drops below, #five hundred, #order money to kill, #strange techniques, #animals

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: Dogbert is in his office wearing a headset. He says, "When you open an account, you'll get a free dart board and a monkey." Dogbert continues, "If your balance drops below five hundred dollars, we'll order the monkey to kill you." Dogbert continues, "Well, think about it and get back to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #discount brokerage, #estate plan, #pass away, #stay dead, #zombie, #bad gifts

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DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A man on a cell phone says, "I need an estate plan for after I pass away." Dogbert, in his office and wearing a headset, says to the man, "Here's a plan: Stay dead. No one likes a zombie." The man on the cell phone asks, "What about gifts?" Dogbert's reply is, "Zombies make bad gifts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #topper, #top you, #ruins system, #can't go first

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is with another man. The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet Topper. He's amazing." Dilbert looks at The Boss and a smirking Topper. The Boss says, "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." Dilbert says to Topper, "How are you?" The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "I can't go first. It ruins my system."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #more email, #storage space, #all files, #complain, #ignore requests, #your only choices, #please veryone

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "I asked for more e-mail storage space and you deleted all of my files!" The co-worker says to Dilbert, "You complain when I ignore your requests and you complain when I delete your files." Dilbert cries, "Those aren't your only choices!!" The co-worker says, "I can't please everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #managers brain, #like pump, #prime it, #learns first, #form foundation, #future perceptions, #talking smack

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Catbert and Dilbert watch The Boss who is in a coma at his desk. Catbert says, "A manager's brain is like a pump. If it becomes empty you must prime it." Catbert says to Dilbert, "Whatever he learns first will form the foundation for all of his future perceptions." Catbert points at Dilbert and says to The Boss, "This guy has been talking smack about you." The Boss begins to come to, saying, "Unh..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #birthday, #mothers birthday, #warp up present, #an hour later, #throwing towel, #element of suprise, #no waste paper, #cookies

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In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #not care, #subordinates, #all changed, #not caring funtion

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "I used to not care about my subordinates." The Boss says to Asok, "But that's all changed." The Boss says to Asok as Alice, The Boss' secretary, looks on, "Now I delegate the not-caring function to what's-her-face over here."