Dilbert Mother Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dilbert Mother

View 991 - 1000 results for dilbert mother comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Mother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Monday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thought, cognition, technology, invention, computer, intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contract, legalese, language, comprehension

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Review this contract and tell me if it looks right. Dilbert: It's legal gibberish. I don't understand a word of it. Boss: So... you see no problems? Dilbert: Only a lawyer could understand it. Boss: But otherwise it's okay? Dilbert: My inability to identify a problem is not proof of no problems. Boss: Then how do you know when all of your problems have been fixed? I'll just sign it and see what happens.

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trolling, troll, social media, argument, logic, reason, arguing, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags troll, social media, trolling, insult, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags morals, blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't finish the software patch. We're replacing the entire system. Man: Why didn't you tell me sooner? Dilbert: I just found out. Man: While you were standing here. Dilbert: Um, no, I was standing somewhere else. Man: When? Dilbert: Twenty minutes ago. Man: Aha!!! You wasted twenty minutes of my time because you're a terrible person! Dilbert; I'm sorry. Now I feel awful. Man: You're just lucky I forgot to work on that patch.

Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, truth, diagnosis, Opinion, free will, ai, artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?

Listening To Your Gut

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Listening To Your Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rumor, accusation, skeptic, gullible, gut instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?

Boss Doesn't Understand A Word Of It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Doesn't Understand A Word Of It  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags presentation, rude, polite, etiquette, comprehension

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's my presentation. What do you think? Boss: I didn't understand a word of it. Dilbert: You could have mentioned that an hour ago. Boss: Didn't want to rude.

Initial Coin Offering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Initial Coin Offering  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ico, cryptocurrency, bitcoin, jargon, language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should do an initial coin offering, or ICO. Boss: What's that? Dilbert: It's a non-equity process for raising capital that uses a custom crypto-currency and the blockchain. I might be wasting my time here. Boss: So... it's a chain made out of coins?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags memory, notes, forgetting, reminder, forgetfulness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?