Long Time Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Long Time
View 991 - 1000 results for long time comic strips. Discover the best "Long Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 03,
2000
Tags fake disability claim, disabled, hard to believe, note from doctor, obvious, long time
Transcript
Wally says to Dilbert as he pours himself a cup of coffee in the break room, "I'm thinking about going out on a fake disability claim." Wally and Dilbert are walking with a cup of coffee in hand. Wally goes on to say, "Do you think anyone will believe I'm disabled?" Dilbert replies sarcastically to himself without speaking, "It's hard to believe you're not." Wally enters The Boss' office and asks, "Do you need a note from my doctor?" The Boss replies sarcastically unenthused, "No, it's been obvious for a long time."
Sunday April 02,
2000
Tags sing or dance, resigned, huge resignation, manifesto, video clips, humorous sound files, website, broadway theater prodcution, first motivated employee, technology
Transcript
Ted approaches Dilbert, "Can you sing or dance?" Dilbert turns to face Ted, "Ted? I thought you resigned in disgust two weeks ago." Ted replies, "Well...I wrote a huge resignation manifesto that I planned to e-mail to the entire company." With hands raised Ted says, "But I thought it needed pictures." With arms now raised to the side Ted says, "Before long I was adding video clips and humorous sound files." Exasperated Ted states, "Then I thought, hey, why not put it all on a website?" More calmed and reserved, Ted says "Now I'm turning the whole thing into an off Broadway theatre production." Arriving home after work, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I saw my first motivated employee today."
Saturday March 25,
2000
Tags return to future, majesty, retroactive, time travelers, boss around, dance
Transcript
The future Dilbert says to Dogbert: "I must return to the future now, your majesty." Dogbert says: "The don't call me majesty, yet." The future Dilbert says: "You'll make it retroactive..." He continues: "...so you could boss around the time travelers." Dogbert says: "In that case, dance for me."
Wednesday March 22,
2000
Tags future me, came to help, project, miserable, sewerage, got bad assignments
Transcript
Dilbert and the future Dilbert are at the Boss's office. Dilbert tells the Boss: "A future me built a time machine and came to help on my project." The future Dilbert tells the Boss: "Hello, you miserable pile of solid sewerage." The future Dilbert turns to Dilbert and says: "You always got bad assignments after today."
Tuesday March 21,
2000
Tags from the future, time machine invention, stick finger, hole
Transcript
An older Dilbert with an oddly shaped head materializes in Dilberts cubicle. The future Dilbert says to Dilbert: "I am you from the future. Your time machine invention works." Dilbert asks: "How does my head get like that?" The future Dilbert points to a hole in a box that he wears at his chest and says: "Stick a finger in this hole."
Monday March 20,
2000
Tags more work, fewer people, future version, via time machine, porject, unmotivated
Transcript
Dilbert tells the Boss: "As requested, I came up with a plan for doing more work with fewer people." He points to a picture of a contraption: "A future version of me will arrive via time machine to help on the project..." He continues: "...unless you say something now that makes me unmotivated."
Tuesday February 22,
2000
Tags technology, paul tergeist, computer, shoots up, falls on head, Dilbert, coworker, monitor head
Transcript
Paul Tergeist is sitting with Dilbert in front of the computer at Dilbert's cubicle. Paul says: "This technology will work or my name isn't Paul Tergeist." Suddently, the monitor rockets into the air. The two watch it with stupefaction as it ascends. The monitor lands on Dilbert's head. Paul says: "I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened to a co-worker." Dilbert simply says: "Ow."
Monday February 14,
2000
Tags drive carefully, drive into a tree, policy, using cell phones, poisonous snakes, sarcasm, joking, obvious
Transcript
The Boss and Asok the Intern are sitting at a table. The Boss informs Asok: "The new policy says you must drive carefully while using cell phones." Asok says: "This policy is just in time. I had planned to drive into a tree." Asok leans toward the Boss and asks: "Is there anything there about handling poisonous snakes?"
Thursday February 10,
2000
Tags Dilbert, dilbert not buying it, excuses, get information, hate people, promise, resentment, saves time, advance
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at a table with a co-worker. The co-worker tells Dilbert: "I'll get this information for you." Dilbert replies: "No you won't. You'll wait until I hunt you down and then you'll say you were too busy." On the couch at home with Dogbert, Dilbert says: "Today I started hating people in advance." Dogbert replies: "It saves time."
Wednesday February 09,
2000
Tags face time, software, man makes face, imitating worker, discourage from raise, costs money, discouraging, engineering
Transcript
The Boss: Come in to the VP's office with me. you need to get some face time. Dilbert: What is Face Time? The Boss: Its very important. man: and this is you asking for a raise.