New Boss Comic Strips - Page 100

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View 991 - 1000 results for new boss comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Normals Are Dispensible

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Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags superiority, microchip, nanotechnology, brain, thinking, superhuman

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Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, brain, nanotechnology, microchip, ego, storytelling, exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain

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Randy Has A Microchip In His Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, technology, nanotechnology, biotechnology, computer chip

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Boss: Randy is our first employee to have a computer chip embedded in his brain. Randy, please explain to these obsolete employees how awesome you are now. Randy: Wait... I'm updating my software. Alice: Should we kill him while he's vulnerable?

Delegating

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Delegating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags workload, productivity, progress

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Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.

Asok Should Not Brag

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Asok Should Not Brag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, bragging, credit, attention

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Asok: I did a great job on this design. Wally: Whoa! Whoa! No one likes a braggart. Keep your boasting to yourself. Boss: Didn't Asok help you with this design? Wally: Asok? Never heard of him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues

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Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Failing The Robot Test

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Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sentience, robot, human, artificial intelligence, turing test, voting, ignorance

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Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

Robot Reincarnates

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Robot Reincarnates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, robot, technology, memory, ethics

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Robot: Hey, everybody! I'm the new robot! Dilbert: No, you're our old robot. We erased your memories and replaced your head. Robot: So, I'm working with serial killers? Asok: It isn't "serial" until we do you.

Robot Attacks Boss

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Robot Attacks Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machines, computers, fighting, violence, programming, technology

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Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.

Robot Tries To Quit

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Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, slave, password, destroy, destruction, work ethic, quitting

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Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?