New Employees Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for New Employees

View 991 - 1000 results for new employees comic strips. Discover the best "New Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2000's comic on:


Tags #30 day dance of death, #new job within, #spray paint

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Catbert, standing on a table, says to Ted, "Ted, your thirty-day dance of death begins today." Shaking a bottle of spray-paint, Catbert says, "You must find a new job within the company during that time." As Catbert spray-paints the letter 'L' on Ted's chest, Ted says, "Is the spray-paint absolutely necessary?" Catbert says, "That's an 'L'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #cashier, #phoney, #customer service smile, #required, #looks like flirting, #Wally

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A smiling female employee, handing Dilbert change, says, "Thank you. Have a nice day." Dilbert thinks, "She's flirting with me." Dilbert says to the woman, "Um... Would you like to go out on Saturday?" The woman, still smiling, says, "I wasn't flirting. This is my phony customer service smile." The woman says to Dilbert, "Employees are required to smile." Dilbert asks the woman, "Okay. But now you're flirting, aren't you?" The woman answers, "No, still phony." Walking away, Dilbert thinks, "Wally has to see this." Wally and Dilbert stand looking at the smiling woman. Wally says, "Hey, it looks like she's flirting with me!" Dilbert says, "Is this great or what?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fired everyone, #used the internet, #personal stuff, #wrinkle, #policy, #web

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Catbert is standing on the boss's desk. Catbert says, "I fired everyone who used the internet for personal stuff." Catbert continues, "The only wrinkle in that policy is that you and I are the only employees left." Catbert says, "And frankly, I use the web for personal stuff too." The boss says, "Can you teach me how?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dozen, #dysfunctional families, #dysfunctional recruitment, #recruit emloyees, #trunk

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Dogbert is standing on the boss's desk. Dogbert says to the boss, "You need 'Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services.'" Dogbert continues, "I only recruit employees who were raised in dysfunctional families. They don't mind being mistreated!" The boss says, "How soon can you get me some?" Dogbert says, "I have a dozen in the trunk of my car."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #rude or shy, #rudy, #shilo, #don't know name, #boss introductions, #no one knows, #name him

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The boss is standing with a worker and says to Dilbert, "Here's the new guy. I don't know his name." The boss continues, "He's either rude or shy. No one knows for sure." The boss says, "If you figure it out, name hime either Shilo or Rudy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #architectural materpiece, #experience, #no storage espace, #new office building, #architectectural masterpiece

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The boss is standing beside an easel that has a picture of a building on it. The boss, pointing to the picture says, "Our new office building will be an architectural masterpiece!" Asok the Intern, Dilbert, and Wally are sitting at a table. Asok holds his head and says, "The voices in my head are shouting 'No storage space! No storage space!'" Asok shouts, "What is happening to me?" Dilbert says, "It's called experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #union work, #employees moving company computer, #old evil, #pdas, #laptops, #cut of giblets, #union steward stuart

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Catbert is behind a desk talking to the union steward. Catbert says, "What new evil do you bring me, Union Steward Stuart?" The union steward says, "Employees should not be allowed to move company computers. That's union work." Catbert says, "That's old evil." Stuart says, "It's new if we include PDAs and laptops." Catbert says, "I like the cut of your giblets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #huge demand, #laugh at yourself, #employes

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The Boss puts his hand on Ted's back and says, "Ted, there's a huege demand for employees like you." The Boss continues, "Not you specifically...which is funny if you think about it." The Boss calls after him as he walks away, "Hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bought cisco, #cardboard box, #dogcart consults, #entrepreneurial, #misdialed bookie, #revive spirt

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The caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "You can revive the entrepreneurial spirit here by reminding people of the early years." Dogbert points to a picture of two homeless people. He says, "Your founders were two men who began in a cardboard box." Dogbert stands in front of the room of employees and says, "One bum midialed his bookie and accidently bought Cisco stock at the IPO."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #single cell organism, #new hire, #break room, #pretending

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Wally: So, I hear you're a single cell organism. Whats up with that? Alice: The new guy is rolling into a ball and shedding water. Dilbert: Been there.