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View 991 - 1000 results for new office comic strips. Discover the best "New Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approval policy, #coffee supplies, #disobedience, #fire, #hatred, #new informational services, #effigies

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Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #tall, #giant, #awkward, #arm pits, #cubicle, #intimidating

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Dilbert: Don't get too friendly with the new guy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground. Asok: He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant. Wally: You'll see. New Guy: Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ambulance chaser, #cometition, #rumor, #salvage assets, #talented coworker, #new guy

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Wally: I heard a rumor that you're highly talented. That means you'll leave this company any minute. I came to salvage whatever assets you leave behind. Dilbert: Is he the talented guy? Wally: Back off! I'm already chasing this ambulance.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #mocking, #salvage joy, #work, #five year plan

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Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five year plan, #five minutes, #office, #room, #conference room

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The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #distraction, #meeting, #move, #office, #phone ring, #rug catch fire, #business

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Dilbert: I'm here to go through the motions of trying to ask you a question. But we both know your phone will ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question. It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identify systems, #inefficient, #new standards, #passive aggressive, #freelancer

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Alice: That thing is called a "boss." His job is to identify systems that are inefficient and make them our new standards. The Boss: I do way more than that. Alice: Don't look directly at it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #travel expenses, #meal costs, #liar or worse, #round numbers, #finance troll, #papers, #office, #computer, #desk, #technology

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Finance troll: Your travel expenses are rejected because all of your meal costs are round numbers. Either you are a liar or worse. Dilbert: I decide what to order based on what totals to a round number after a 15% tip. Finance: That's worse.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chair, #butt hurt, #boss, #suboptimal, #normal

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Wally: My new chair can be adjusted to a jillion different positions. That practically guarantees I'm using it in a suboptimal way. I think it might be disabling me. Does that look normal to you?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #blame, #boss, #disater, #fault, #new software, #recommended against, #responsible

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Alice: The new software is a disaster. The Boss: They why did you recommend it? Alice: This software is your idea. I recommended against it! So who's fault is it? The Boss: The person with the unpersuasive recommendations?