Pelt With Office Supplies Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Pelt With Office Supplies

View 991 - 1000 results for pelt with office supplies comic strips. Discover the best "Pelt With Office Supplies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #obliviousness, #sales personnel, #software, #third party library, #new version, #windows, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The software you sold us stopped working after a week. What's up with that? Salesman: We use a third-party library, and it isn't compatible with the new version of Windows. Dilbert: And...? Salesman: We appreciate your business?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #gadgets, #vision / eye care, #wally glasses, #google glasses, #enhance reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I invented "Wally Glasses" to compete with Google's glasses. Google's glasses enhance reality, whereas Wally glasses make reality look like it isn't worth the effort. Dogbert: Let me know if they kill you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #collaborate, #sexism, #water down, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #fear, #opinion of plan, #rip off arms, #track down family, #kill family, #india, #Advice, #giving advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #telecommuting, #coworkers, #casual inetractions, #infected toe, #photo of toe

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I canceled all telecommuting because there is so much value in having co-workers interact with each other in the office. Boss: Yes, it makes perfect sense. We want to get all of the value of casual interactions. Coworker: Do you want to see a picture of my infected toe?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #appear charistmatic, #high expectations, #character flaws, #your end, #charisma, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say I can appear charismatic by setting high expectations. Dilbert: Or maybe you could improve your charisma by fixing your character flaws instead of making me work harder. Boss: No, I'm fairly sure the problem with my charisma is on your end.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #honesty, #rich people, #career success, #avoid losers, #suck energy, #taking staors

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: While we have this chance encounter, I wonder if you could share your secrets for career success. CEO: Avoid associating with losers because they will lower your standards and suck the energy out of you. Would you mind taking the stairs?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #thinking, #intuition, #make decisions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?