Taxpayers Give Money Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Taxpayers Give Money
View 991 - 1000 results for taxpayers give money comic strips. Discover the best "Taxpayers Give Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 26,
1994
Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers
Transcript
The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?
Tuesday August 23,
1994
Tags #genetic research, #clone, #obedient slaves, #conquer, #world dominion, #living things, #work on giant cucumbers, #arms and legs
Transcript
Genetic research Dogbert: Id like you to clone an army of obedient slaves for me, I plan to conquer the world and have dominion over all living things. scientist: I mostly work on giant cucumbers. Dogbert: Mix in some arms and legs and give me two packages of seeds.
Sunday August 21,
1994
Tags #proposal, #alternatives, #lobby government, #tax breaks, #idiot run businesses, #quit job, #new career, #handing out towels, #cow chips, #bull shit
Transcript
The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.
Friday August 19,
1994
Tags #dogbert outplacement agebcy, #doa, #freelance consulatants, #cubicles, #earn no money, #equipped, #phone, #refurbished ego
Transcript
Dogbert: welcome to the dogcart outplacement agency, or "DOA" as I call it. Dogbert: Here, Nobody "unemployed" You're freelance consultants who sit in cubicles and earn no money! Every cubicle is equipped with a phone and a refurbished ego. ego: I will not work with that thing.
Saturday August 13,
1994
Tags #impression, #dog in space, #physical humor, #lost art
Transcript
Dogbert: And now I will give you my impression of a dog in space. Dogbert: Physical humor is a lost art. Dilbert: Let me know if you find it.
Friday August 12,
1994
Tags #still single, #shower, #recoup money, #wedding gifts, #baby showers, #bitter, #election hut, #registered
Transcript
"Wally, you're invited to a 'Still Single' shower in my honor." "I'm trying to recoup all the money I've blown on wedding gifts and baby showers." "Someone's feeling a little bitter today." "I have a pattern registered at 'Electron Hut'."
Wednesday August 10,
1994
Tags #profits down, #bring own pencils, #sell them, #sidewalk, #beg for money, #money down
Transcript
"Profits are down again this quarter." "That's bad." "Starting tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own pencils to the office." "That's bad." "And you'll have to sell them out on the sidewalk." "That's bad."
Monday August 01,
1994
Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats
Transcript
The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,
Sunday July 31,
1994
Tags #boost morale, #alpha project, #atta boy certificate, #lazy imposter, #wallyina, #indian name, #gives award, #alice gets award
Transcript
"I'd like to boost morale by presenting this 'Attaboy' certificate to Willy." "It's Wally, not Willy." "I becomes an A with a dot over it." "Wink" "Anyway, this is for your good work on the Alpha project." "Thanks, but I didn't work on the Alpha project." "Get out of my sight, you lazy imposter!" "With a little bit of luck, I can pull this out." "I give you your Indian name: Wallyina"
Tuesday July 26,
1994
Tags #judges were cruel, #olympic competition, #play, #ratbert, #scored a two, #sofa, #doves, #rat on couch
Transcript
Ratbert: A hush comes over the crowd. This would be Ratbert's most difficult dive. Dilbert: I give it a two. Ratbert: The judges were cruel but rather captured the hearts aof the audience , endorsements would follow.