Treat Each Other Well Comic Strips - Page 100
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The boss is sitting at his desk and Asok asks him: "I completed all my assigments. How many I be of service now?" The boss starts digging through his trash can and says: "I think I have something in here." Asok is sitting at his computer with a crumbled piece of paper in his hands, he thinks: "My other assigments were on wrinkled paper, too."
The boss and Dogbert are in a meeting, Dogbert is wearing a mining hard hat. The boss says: "Our consultant has been mining all day." Dogbert says: "The results are quite shocking." The boss is sitting between Dilbert and Dogbert, he is reading a sheet of paper. The boss says: "According to the data, sales are always highest when I do this..." The boss pulls the side of his mouth with one hand and pulls his nose up with the other, Dilbert and Dogbert look at him.
Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting in front of each other. Dogbert says: "Now I'll use my hype-inflated stock to buy companies that have a real value." Dogbert tells Ratbert: "The lesson is that hype always triumphs over substance." Dogbert says to Ratbert: "How's your moral compass doing?" Ratbert answers: "Spinning, just like you said it would!"
The boss and Asok are sitting and facing each other. The boss says: "Asok, I want you to observe our VP so we can figure out what our priorities are." The boss tells Asok :We've built a duck blind in his office using cubicle material." Asok is hiding in the duck blind covered with leaves at the top. The V.P. is at his desk flossing his teeth. Asok thinks: "10:28 A.M., the subject is flossing."
The boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, come meet the two new employees." The boss introduces Dilbert to the new employee and they both extend their hands to shake. The boss says: "This is Sophie, one of the best engineers in the business." Dilbert thinks: "the drawing of a heart" The boss points to the other new employee and says: "The other one is her imcompetent husband." The boss stands between the two new employess and says: "We had to hire him so Sophie would agree to relocate." The husband says to the boss: "Are you saying I didn't get hired for my talent." Sophie says to her husband: "You don't have any talent, honey" The husband answers: "Oh, that's right." The boss stands with his back to the husband and says to Dilbert: "Dilbert, your job is to do his job in addition to your own." Dilbert is sitting at his computer with Sophie's husband to his side. The husband says: "Do you want to see my collection of squirrel heads?"
Dilbert, Ming,the new web employee, and the boss are sitting at a table. Ming has a sheet of paper on the table. Ming says: "I linked our web site to various sponsors who pay us for eyeballs." Ming says:"Those sponsors link to other web sites who link to us." Ming says to the boss:"The net-net at the end of the day is we owe ourselves a billion dollars." The boss thinks: "eyeballs?", while expressing disgust.
Alice stands in front of the boss's desk. The boss says to Alice while looking at a sheet of paper: "I can't send you to this class, Alice. We need you here." The boss says to Alice: "And after we use you up, we'll need you to be somewhere else." Alice says to Wally, who is standing in front of his cubicle: "What will I do when my skills are obsolete?" Wally answers while holding a cup of coffee: "Try walking around with a coffee cup"
Carol with a child in each hand comes up to Dilbert, who is at his computer and says, "I brought my kids to work because day care is closed." Dilbert turns around and Carol introduces the kids. "Tess is a yeller and Smokey is a biter." Later on... Dilbert, with Smokey hanging from his teeth on his arm and Tess on his leg screaming, is now standing behind Carol, who is sitting at her desk. Dilbert says, "Why is day care closed?" Carol replies, "The townspeople torched it."
A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."
Dilbert is sitting at his computer when the phone rings. Dilbert's mom is on the other end. She is sitting in a chair with an open laptop with Dilbert's face on the screen. She says, "I've been watching you through your web cam and I don't think you're working hard enough." (With the emphasis on "much"...) She says, "Well, there wasn't much of a fire wall. I'm using your mail server to spam my mahjongg club."