500 With Tax Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for 500 With Tax

View 991 - 1000 results for 500 with tax comic strips. Discover the best "500 With Tax" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #quality school, #quality black master, #title metaphoric, #breakout session, #pre course reading

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Wally, "After I graduate from 'Quality School' I'll be a quality black-belt master." Wally asks, "Is the title metaphoric, or is there a chance you'll be beaten senseless during a breakout session?" The Boss slices the air with his hands as if he were practicing karate and thinks, "Zip zip zip zip." The Boss hits Wally and knocks him to the floor. Wally asks, "Was that necessary?" The Boss replies, "I'm not sure. I haven't done the pre-course reading yet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1996's comic on:


Tags #elbonian database, #payroll, #accounts receivable, #golf balls

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and an Elbonian man sit at a conference table. The Elbonian says, "Our Elbonian database product can replace every one of your current systems." Dilbert says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells Alice, "It can do payroll, accounts receivable, inventory, sales . . ." Alice says, "No thanks." The Elbonian tells the Boss, "And I'll throw in some golf balls." The Boss replies, "It's a deal! Just toss them in the lake with all my other ones."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #computer support, #elbonian data base, #expensive consultant, #five hundred dollars, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #highly paid, #150 per hour, #ideal career, #unproductive, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert leans on Wally's monitor and says, "As a consultant, I earn $150 per hour even when I'm unproductive." Ratbert continues, "I can earn 42 cents by wiggling my furry little behind for ten seconds." Ratbert shouts, "C'mon, count with me!!!" Wally tells Dilbert, "When I imagine my ideal career, it's never like this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ntern, #elbonian data base, #installing, #bad movies, #password

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits at a desk. Asok stands behind him and asks, "I am only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Asok says, "The Elbonian database system you're installing for our company will never work . . . Unless I rewrite the entire thing with just six keystrokes . . . Done." Ratbert says, "I thought this was only possible in bad movies." Asok says, "Hey, let's hack into NATO's system. I can guess their password in three tries."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #direct flight, #aisle seat, #upgrade, #first class, #overhead bin, #north korea, #non smoking, #anti aircraft fire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I'd like a direct flight . . . Aisle seat . . . And an upgrade to first class if possible." The airline ticket agent replies, "The best I can do is to put you in an overhead luggage bin . . . With one stop in North Korea." Dilbert asks, "Is it non-smoking?" The ticket salesperson replies, "That depends on how accurate the anti-aircraft fire is."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #decoy suitcase, #airline distracted, #lose decoy, #sneak, #emergency carry on, #eat their food

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the dresser watching Dilbert pack. Dilbert closes a suitcase and tells Dogbert, "This suitcase is the decoy." Dilbert explains, "While the airline is distracted trying to lose the decoy, I'll sneak aboard with this emergency carry-on bag." Dogbert asks, "What if they try to make you eat their food?" Dogbert replies, "Fake vomit. They'll think I already ate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business traveler, #wrinkle free, #the wrapper, #wrinkled suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with a man and a woman. He is wearing a wrinkled suit. The other people stare at Dilbert. Dilbert says, "When I bought this suit, it said 'wrinkle-free' on the wrapper." The man asks, "The wrapper?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #perfromance review, #napping, #key board face, #qwertytis, #working hard

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "Wish me luck. I'm off to get my performance review." Dilbert says, "Have you been napping? You've got a bad case of keyboard face." Wally has several indentations on his cheek. The Boss asks Wally, "What's wrong with your face?" Wally replies, "I have Qwertytis. It's from working too hard."