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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees fertilizer, #management, #organism, #plant, #survive and grow, #weasels, #dogbert consults

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Caption reads: "Dogbert Consults." The Boss is leaning back in his chair and listening to Dogbert who is standing on the Boss's desk. Dogbert advises: "Management is like an organism that needs to survive and grow." He continues: "Employees are your fertilizer." The Boss asks: "So I'm like a well-fertilized plant?" Dogbert answers: "No, and sadly, weasels don't need fertilizer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bob flabeau, #lifetime gullibility awar, #biograohy, #false memeories, #herbal therapist, #solid gold

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Dogbert is standing on a stool at a podium. He announces: "The Lifetime Gullibility Award goes to Bob Flabeau." He continues: "I would read Bob's biography but it's comprised entirely of false memories planted by his herbal therapist." Dogbert holds out the award as Bob Flabeau walks eagerly up to claim it. Dogbert says to him: "It looks like a stick but it's solid gold." Bob exclaims: "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #irs in jail, #swelled up, #basket case, #women hate summaries, #beach ball, #head swelled

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A woman recalls over dinner with Dilbert: "...so my head swelled up like a beach ball and the I.R.S. wants to put me in jail." Dilbert responds: "In summary you're a basket case." Afterwards, he tells Dogbert: "Women hate it when you summarize."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #from the future, #time machine invention, #stick finger, #hole

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An older Dilbert with an oddly shaped head materializes in Dilberts cubicle. The future Dilbert says to Dilbert: "I am you from the future. Your time machine invention works." Dilbert asks: "How does my head get like that?" The future Dilbert points to a hole in a box that he wears at his chest and says: "Stick a finger in this hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #tiny dried peanut, #what would dogbert do, #what would dogbert do?, #god like, #worship, #dog worship, #friends, #ask yourself

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Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #bounced back into plane, #didn't open, #false memory, #parachute, #skydiving, #tell story, #trampoline, #planted by dogbert

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #4 hour meeting, #company sadist, #donuts, #invited, #no agenda, #suppose to hurt

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The sadist approaches Dilbert handing him a piece of paper and says, "You're invited to my four-hour meeting." As Dilbert reads the paper, the sadist says "There's no agenda. It's just supposed to hurt. Dilbert asks, "Any donuts?" The sadist replies, "Yes, but I'll drop one on the floor and hide it with the others. Dilbert then says, "I like those odds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #marketing plan, #annihilation, #life on earth, #serious competitor, #tobacco, #junk food, #quarterly review

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Marketing Lady: My marketing plan calls for the annihilation of all life on earth. Our only serious competitor is a company that sells tobacco and junk food. Id like volunteers. Asok: I beed some accomplishments for my quarterly review.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #500 with tax, #complains about tax, #morale improvement award, #morale display

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The Boss says aloud, "The five hundred dollar morale improvement award goes to Ed." Shocked, Ed looks at the check and screams "Gaa!! It's only $240 after taxes!!!" Wally says to Dilbert, "So that's what good morale looks like." Dilbert replies, "Apparently we've had it the whole time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #boss, #edfred, #freak, #new hire, #new plan, #trust, #two faced employee, #two headed

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EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.