Away From Job Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for Away From Job

View 991 - 1000 results for away from job comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #technology service, #hospice, #bazooka, #hold gun, #intimidate, #compassion, #surprise, #scared, #computer, #windows xp, #technology, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #customer support, #customer service, #rodent, #talk on phone, #creepy personal questions, #waste of time, #refund

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Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #report, #strategy, #boss' job, #labels, #managing

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Alice says, "We've pieced together the fragments of your poor communication and believe we have deduced your strategy." Alice says, "It appears that you are trying to get paid for doing little more than giving stupid labels to things." The Boss says, "It's called managing!" Alice says, "Good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2010's comic on:


Tags #favor, #excuse, #integration manager, #director of sustainability, #real, #matrix management, #neo

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Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #sales, #travel, #business, #idiot, #angry

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The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #wide eyes, #merger, #hope, #status, #upgrade, #nonexistent, #unimportant, #job, #business

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The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #update, #script, #accomplish, #work, #suspicious

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Wally says, "I made a script to write from the UFR SQL function to a log table I created for the DB so I can find the parameter errors." Wally says, "I'm giving you this status update while the script is running, so I'm accomplishing two things now." The Boss says, "How do I know you really did that thing you just said?" Wally says, "I guess now I'm doing your job too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #meeting, #the end, #apathy, #hate, #questions, #business

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Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

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Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."