Bank Off Head Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Bank Off Head

View 991 - 1000 results for bank off head comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Off Head" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #acting ceo, #rolex accident, #power crazed, #obliterated human decency, #abuse of power, #furry friend

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The board wants you to be our acting CEO until our regular CEO recovers from his Rolex accident. Boss: Buwhahaha!!! The power has gone to my head and obliterated my last crumb of human decency! Catbert: You're creeping me out. Boss: I'm going to buff my shoes with you, my furry friend.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #acting ceo, #back slapping, #firing people, #slaps off roof, #abuse of power, #sacrifice

View Transcript

Transcript

Acting CEO Boss: No one told me what I'm supposed to do in this job. Catbert: 80% of the job is back-slapping and firing people. Boss: Good job, Ted. But not good enough.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #mathematics, #work ethic, #work time, #donate, #1% work time, #charitable cause, #110% to job, #learn math, #asking employess, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #networking, #key to success, #avoid contact, #with losers, #send off, #security

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #bad advice, #projects, #work load, #freaking out, #tackle, #unpleasant tasks first, #wrong order

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too many projects. I'm freaking out. Boss: Experts say you should tackle the most unpleasant tasks first, so you have a feeling of accomplishment and control. Dilbert: Now I have too many projects and some extra anxiety that I'm doing them in the wrong order. Boss: Off you go.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #analogies, #creativity, #haters, #ideas, #trapped ideas, #attract haters, #zombies to fish syicks, #analogy, #great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My best ideas are trapped in my head. Whenever I voice my ideas, I attract haters like zombies to fish sticks. Wally: IS that analogy one of your great ideas? Dilbert: I don't like the way you asked that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #laziness, #productivity, #work ethic, #sensors detect, #cubicle, #engineering, #problem, #five years, #robot, #boss, #temporary boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bad karma, #cereal, #demon, #devil, #fear, #insufficient light, #laziness, #leftover cereal, #managing vibe, #menace, #spoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Phil: I am Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I got a report that you wished bad karma upon your co-workers. Dilbert: You would put off a more menacing vibe if you didn't have leftover cereal in your pitchspoon. Phil: I was really hungry and I didn't feel like emptying the dishwasher. Dilbert: We've all been there.

Blist Point For 3 D Goggles

Thank you for voting.
Blist Point For 3 D Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #customer retention, #death, #immersive technology, #moratlity, #technology, #virtual reality, #immersive 3d head gear, #starved, #bliss point, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.