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View 991 - 1000 results for best work comic strips. Discover the best "Best Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #tiny raises, #nothing to motivate, #alice complains

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #justify resources, #change software, #software changes, #plan

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #job counseling, #disguise fact, #moron, #knowledge mangement, #optimization intiatives, #key learnings

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Caption: "Job Counseling" Dogbert sits at his desk, tail wagging. A moron stands on the other side. Dogbert says, "We'll need to disguise the fact that you're a moron." Dogbert says, "Ironically, the best way is to become an expert in something called "knowledge management." The moron's hair, shirt and tie are messy. The moron's eyes are vacant. The moron sits in a metting next to the Boss. The moron says, "We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings." The Boss thinks, "Smart."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

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The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 1998's comic on:


Tags #sabotaged, #global conspiracy, #plant misspelled work, #spell checker, #webster

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Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina says, "What the...? I've been sabotaged!" Tina stands with her arms crossed behind Wally. Wally says, "No, I'm not part of a global conspiracy to plant a misspelled word in your "spell checker". Tina holds an open dictionary. Tina says, "GASP! They got to Webster too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1998's comic on:


Tags #face time, #promotion paper work, #send photos, #vp

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit outside. Dogbert says, "If you want to get promoted, you need lots of "face time" with your V.P." Dogbert says, "I recommend sending photos of yourself every week." A male boss sits at his desk holding photographs. The boss says, "More photos... he must be a relative." The secretary says, "I'll start the promotion paperwork."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #asok dsitraught, #can't do work, #no response, #emails voice mails, #pathetic defeated losers, #Wally

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Asok leans on Wally's desk. Wally sits at his computer. Asok says, "No one returns my phone calls.... no reads the e-mail I send." Asok says, "I find myself hanging around with other pathetic, defeated losers." Asok says, "No offense." Wally says, "None taken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #opposed to plan, #emotionally invested, #Opinion, #meeting agenda

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Dilbert sits with Ted at a table. Dilbert hands Ted a piece of paper. Ted says, "I'm strongly opposed to your plan." Dilbert says, "You haven't read it." Ted says, "Oh, right. But now I'm emotionally invested in my opinion." Ted says, "This plan will never work!!!" Dilbert says, "That is the meeting agenda."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss hires dennis, #indispensable, #sadistic nut, #job unbearable, #die in own vomit!

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The Boss is talking to Alice and Dilbert. He tells them, "Every work group has one sadistic nut who makes the job unbearable for everyone else." The Boss continues, "That's why I hired Dennis." The Boss points to an angry, violent looking man with dark hair. The Boss says, "He already seems indispensible." Dennis screams, "You'll all die in your own vomit!" Alice is appauled.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #control, #deadbeats, #for scuccess, #mangers, #reorganize, #subgroup, #thrown out window, #whiners

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- How to reorganize for success Put All your deadbeats and whiners in one sub group. Deadbeats: we don't want to be a subgroup. -Give them a project that duplicates work being done by more competent people elsewhere in the company.- Soon, the manager of the competent people will find out you're duplicating his work. Man: You're on my turf Dogbert: Boo hoo - He'll make a play to get your project under his control.- Man: They should be transferred to my control. - Before you transfer the deadbeats. Give them high performance reviews to conceal your treachery Deadbeat: Godlike ? wow! Dogbert: I'll miss you. - In time, the manager who took your losers will fail, this decreasing competition for promotions. AAIIII!! Dogbert: Next week I'll discuss teamwork - the managers obstacle to success.