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View 991 - 1000 results for big one comic strips. Discover the best "Big One" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #software expenses, #marketing software expenses, #monkeys, #wear watches, #boss asks, #budget, #costs, #expenses

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The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #incredulous ed, #budget numbers, #request, #coworker, #budget manager, #hard time, #over reacts, #ed, #new hire

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Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mobile tech platform, #own wheelbarrow, #lost lung

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The Boss walks out of his office with his giant gadget and says, "Carol, order an extra battery for my mobile technology platform." Carol replies, "Do you want the one that straps to your back or the one with its own wheelbarrow?" The Boss is seen sweating, carrying a huge, heavy black thing on this back, and thinking, "I think I just lost a lung."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #contract states, #nick names, #mottos, #political preferences, #new contract, #fact, #skippy, #communist now

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table, each reviewing a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "Our contract clearly states that I can give you nicknames, mottos and political preferences." Dilbert sits with his arms folded over his chest and says, "I demand a new contract based on the fact that I didn't read this one before I signed it." Dogbert replies, "Too bad, Skippy. You're a communist now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #marketing acronyms, #wrong ones, #different meaning, #o.r.d>, #b.g.g., #q.r.b., #doesn't require nudity

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Asok the Intern sits at the conference table between the Boss and Dilbert. Asok says, "Per marketing's request, I did an O.R.D. for the B.G.G. that resulted in a Q.R.B." Dilbert and Alice listen as Asok continues, "Then I discovered that marketing uses those acronyms for different things." Asok says, "Their version doesn't require nudity, just to pick one example." The Boss puts his hands to his face in frustration.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #electrician, #fix furnace, #invention, #plumber, #roofer, #space time continuum, #carpenter, #fix furnace 1991

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Dogbert stands on a stool watching as Dilbert fixes what looks like a time machine. Dilbert says, "My invention will let me search the service industry's space-time continuum." Dilbert is seen in the machine travelling through a galaxy with several floating workmen. Dilbert says, "Plumber, roofer, carpenter, electrician." Dilbert stops and looks at one worker and says, "Weren't you supposed to fix my furnace in 1991?" The worker replies, "You're my next house."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #roof gets shingled, #chaos driven, #climate ocntrol, #rest randomizer, #rain shingles, #roof

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Dilbert stands outside looking at his roof and says to the garbageman, "I hope it doesn't rain until my roof gets shingled." The garbageman asks, "Why don't you use your personal chaos-driven climate control appartus to control the rain?" Dilbert looks at him and says, "I...uh...don't have one." The garbageman holds out a gadget and says, "Here, you can use mine. Just reset the randomizer when you're done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #unibrow, #growing one, #ban, #work related converstaion, #lunch time, #break room

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Dilbert and Wally sit with Asok the Intern at the break room table eating lunch. Asok says, "I'm thinking about growing a unibrow." Dilbert, Wally and Asok sit quietly for a moment. Dilbert says, "Maybe we should rethink our ban on work-related conversation during lunch." Asok says, "Please."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dinner, #socially defective brain, #voicemail, #speakerphone

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Ron is sitting at his desk, using speakerphone to listen to his messages. The voice mail service is heard aloud, "Press one to hear." Alice approaches from behind and asks, "Why are you using your speakerphone for voice-mail?" She continues, annoyed, "I mean, seriously, what is going through that socially defective brain of yours?" Ron responds, "Would you like to have dinner?" To which Alice's answer is, "Yeah, why not."

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Share July 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evolution class, #two day course, #surfing student, #cocky squirrel, #janiotr, #three thousand pound squirrel

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."