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View 991 - 1000 results for boss must wait comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Must Wait" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #office equipment, #public speaking, #ordinary powerpoint, #portal, #another dimension, #fantasy, #reality, #trade places, #slides

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Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #hypocrisy, #open door policy, #suggestions, #not importnat, #extra work

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Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money

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CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #frustration, #matrix comparing features, #skin in game, #bang head, #cause extra work, #value of time, #ninja economics

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Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

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Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

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Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #employees, #employee of month, #october 1929, #room to grow, #past date, #past month, #business

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Boss: Congratulations, Asok. I'm naming you employee of the month. Your month is October 1929. Room to grow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

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Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #prices, #aggressive jerks, #underpaid nerdling, #give her a raise, #nice employees

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Dilbert: I read that aggressive jerks get paid more than nice employees. Alice: Step aside, underpaid nerdling! Boss: Remind me to give her a raise, and I don't know why.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #worked at home, #work tonight, #leaving early, #work late, #business

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Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?