Business Lunch Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Lunch

View 991 - 1000 results for business lunch comic strips. Discover the best "Business Lunch" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #explaining, #angry, #confronting, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fired, #surprised, #mean, #cruel, #reading

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Ted, business is slow, and I have to let you go." The boss says, "But I already did your performance review so I thought you might benefit from constructive feedback." Ted says, "'You're like a blister on a skunk's colon.'" The boss says, "A tiny one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #plans, #meeting, #leadership, #failure, #ridiculous, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2009's comic on:


Tags #scheme, #meeting, #payment, #greed, #money, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My base pay will be one dollar per year. The rest will be stock incentives." Dilbert says, "That guarantees you will reap obscene profits when the overall stock market improves, no matter what you do." Dogbert says, "Pretend you don't know that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #committee, #meeting, #yelling, #orders, #servants, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "You two are my executive compensation committee." Ratbert says, "I live to serve you, my lord and master!" Dogbert says, "Dial it back just a little." Bob says, "Are we allowed to kneel?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #meeting, #ridiculous, #idea, #metaphysics, #pointing, #firing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're paying too much taxes. Bring me a physicist and a tax attorney." Dogbert says, "I want to incorporate in another dimension. Make it happen." Man says, "Somewhere in the multiverse it's already done." Dogbert says, "I like you. The lawyer guy is fired."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #evil, #mean, #cruel, #meeting, #money, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "You shouldn't come to work just for money." Catbert says, "You should come to work to avoid not having any money." Wally says, "I'm only in it for these meetings." Catbert says, "Settle down, baldy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2009's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #harmful, #product, #military, #injury, #excited, #violence, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Marketing Man says, "How do we market a product that is known to trigger dispondency and self-mutilation?" Woman says, "So?It has a military application?" Soldier says, "I thought it was just software, but before I knew it I was stabbing myself." General says, "Get me a trillion of there."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #idea, #unethical, #evil, #corrupt, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll build a factory in every state." Dogbert says, "Politicians will vote to throw huge pork projects our way to benefit their home states." The boss says, "You're turning capitalism against democracy." Dogbert says, "You say weiner, I say winner."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"