Dogbert On Tv Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert On Tv

View 991 - 1000 results for dogbert on tv comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert On Tv" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags collaboration, defective, intranet, dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dogbert the consultant, "No one uses the intranet collaboration software you sold us." Dogbert replies, "Your employees are defective. I recommend cat scans." Catbert examines Wally's head. "This one is defective too", Catbert says. The Boss yells, "Next in line!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company a, dogbert consults, free sample, web strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bean with golf ball, clubhouse, golf with ceo, million dollars, wears helmet, dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "I golf with your CEO." Dogbert continues, "For a million dollars I can accidentally bean him with a golf ball." The Boss replies, "He always wears a helmet." Dogbert answers, "Not in the clubhouse."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert consults, obvious generalities, fees, recommending

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert sits at a table with the Boss. He passes a large binder to the Boss and says, "Here's my report full of obvious generalities." Dogbert continues, "My fee is $90,000." The Boss picks up the report and says, "What are you recommending?" Dogbert answers, "I recommend telling everyone it was free."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eternity, flaming worms, if i die, succession plan, tiptoes, what to do, dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "I've been told to make a succession plan." The Boss says, "The plan should say what to do if I die." Dogbert says, "I can help." Dogbert says to The Boss, "And if Satan makes you stand in flaming worms up to your nose, try standing on your tiptoes for eternity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unlock skull, management training, twist ears, moral compass, deactivate, leadership, working weekends, adjustng, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new motto, dance hurts, love money, work when people watch, read contract, assign mottos, Dilbert, Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert sits next to him and says, "This will be your new motto..." Dogbert continues, "Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching." Dilbert says, "You can't assign mottos to me." Dogbert replies, "You'd better read your contract."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reviews, movies, havnet seen, night of living squirrel, movie reviews, big pay, studio, Dogbert, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is typing at his computer. Dilbert stands next to him and asks, "How can you write reviews of movies you haven't seen?" Dogbert replies, "Easily." Dogbert reads Dilbert an excerpt from his review: "Throw away your Picasso paintings. 'Night of the Living Squirrel' is the only art you'll ever need." Dilbert, looking unimpressed, asks, "How much is the studio paying you?" Dogbert responds, "Dang... Too obvious."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market expert, buy stock, sell house, track record, one week chart, buy buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market expert, core holding, dead cat bounce, secret economic model, book sales, financial markets

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."