Falling Out Of Trees Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Falling Out Of Trees

View 991 - 1000 results for falling out of trees comic strips. Discover the best "Falling Out Of Trees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #budget, #cut backs, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #fear, #policies, #evil, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "The employees are scared shirtless about losing their jobs." Catbert says, "This is a good time to cut their benefits and roll out some Draconian corporate policies." Dilbert says, "'In the event of a bomb threat, the employees are expected to shield the servers with their bodies.'" Wally says, "I miss my shirt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proposition, #marriage, #ridiculous, #confused, #reading, #explanation, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #employee, #graduate, #new, #avoiding, #useless, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #work, #assignment, #placating, #saluting, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Find out how many engineers our competitors have so we can justify having that many." Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll spend a few hours comparing our apples to their oranges." The boss says, "Why does your cooperation sound like insubordination?" Dilbert says, "Aye-aye, captain!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealing, #stupidity, #confronting, #ridiculous, #pirate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "It's a conflict of interest for you to be our CEO and also a pirate who kidnaps our employees." Dogbert says, "The executive compensation committee approved this arrangement. It's all spelled out in my employment agreement." Man says, "So it is." Dogbert says, "Wait here while I call myself and ransom you back to the office."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #woman, #insane, #crazy, #dating, #weird, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typing, #lazy, #idea, #trick, #deception, #managing, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #testing, #recommendation, #pain, #angry, #screaming, #ridicule

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The results of out beta testing are in." Dilbert says, "Our user interface triggered wide-spread despondency and self-mutilation." Dilbert says, "Obviously we'll need to delay our launch for the public good." The boss says, "When did you become a communist?"