Good Liar Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Good Liar

View 991 - 1000 results for good liar comic strips. Discover the best "Good Liar" comics from Dilbert.com.

Stress Typo On Website

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.

How It Feels To Be Useless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Feels To Be Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #work ethic, #engineers, #stress, #reward, #laziness, #dedication

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.

How It Feels To Never Accomplish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How It Feels To Never Accomplish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #perspective, #happiness, #satisfaction, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.

Carol Overschedules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Overschedules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useless, #laziness, #work ethic, #ignorance, #trying, #effort, #club

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I understand you better than the others because I'm useless, too. Wally: I always thought you were trying to kill our pointy-haired boss by overscheduling him. Carol: I am. It just hasn't worked yet. Wally: That's not good enough to get into the useless club.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change, #fear, #power, #executives, #decision, #threat, #hypocrisy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #salesman, #sales, #honesty, #deception, #stragegy, #sociopath, #lying, #lie, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Asks Wally To Talk To School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #feminism, #technology, #Women, #obliviousness, #bad idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to talk to my daughter's school about careers in stem fields. Wally: Why me? Boss: All the good people are busy. Wally: Fair enough. Boss: We want to fix the gender imbalance. Wally: I'll wear my good shirt.