Good Reasons Comic Strips - Page 100

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Good Reasons

View 991 - 1000 results for good reasons comic strips. Discover the best "Good Reasons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2015's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Alice Attracts Wrong Guys

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Attracts Wrong Guys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2015's comic on:

Tags #stalk, #stalker, #stalking, #dating, #drone, #spying, #spy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have a history of dating men who become stalkers. But I have a good feeling about this new guy. He shows no stalker tendencies at all. Dilbert: What's he do for a living? Alice: Aerial photography using drones.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2015's comic on:

Tags #executives, #truth, #honesty, #protection, #protected, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Attendance Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Attendance Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2015's comic on:

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #attendance, #Advice, #mentor, #mentoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

Dilbert Characters

Sense Of Awe

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2015's comic on:

Tags #management, #executives, #leader, #leadership, #overwork, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

Hire Smarter People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Smarter People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #leadership, #success, #insult, #power, #compliment, #backhanded compliment, #ego, #humility, #humble

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to my success is that I hire people who are smarter than me. And then I tell those smart people exactly what to do. It keeps you humble. Dilbert: Good, because all of this was starting to go to my head.

Ted Died Last Week

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Died Last Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2015's comic on:

Tags #listening, #listen, #listener, #silence, #death, #dead, #attention, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted died in his cubicle. Alice: When? Dilbert: About a week ago. They just found him. Alice: Remember when I said Ted is an unusually good listener? I have new data.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2015's comic on:

Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2015's comic on:

Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!