Government Buy Out Comic Strips - Page 100

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1000 Results for Government Buy Out

View 991 - 1000 results for government buy out comic strips. Discover the best "Government Buy Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #assistant for five years, #questions boss, #leadership, #frustrated, #bugging, #wax ears

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Carol: Something's been bugging me. Carol: Ive been an executive assistant for five years. when do I get promoted to executive? Ive got leadership coming out of my ears! The boss: Thats wax.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

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The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #socially obvious, #social defect., #change topic

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Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #warning lables, #on donuts, #high calorie donuts, #will kill you, #tastes great, #choked to death

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The Boss: The government says we have to put warning labels on our forty thousand calorie, shard -filled doughnuts prodcut. Dogbert: How about: warning! this product will kill you but thats okay because it tastes great! Police: It looks like he chocked on some sort of warning label.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #retail distribution, #walgetco, #unreasonable, #special packageing, #foot powder

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"Meet with our huge retail distributor, Walgetco, and find out what they want now." "Say yes, no matter how unreasonable they are, because we need them more than they need us." ". . .Special packaging, rfid tags, and grind your bones to make store brand foot powder." "Yes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending

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Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #death, #down throat fist, #eat, #mouth, #punches, #ram fist grab pants, #stock analysts, #stranger, #threatens coworker, #boss unfazed, #violence, #medical

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Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stupid, #customers, #pressure builds, #unbearable, #bug head

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Try to get through this meeting without teling our customers how stupid you think they're being. "I'll try." "But sometimes the pressure builds up in my head and it's unbearable." "Tough it out." "Is he okay? "He's fine. Ignore him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff

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"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #morale, #family picture, #picture of you, #hard to look at, #freaks, #alice

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Alice, to the Boss, who is sitting at his desk, "...So our morale is... umm..." Alice asks, "What's that on your desk?" The Boss says, "It's a family picture." Alice picks up the photograph, "I might be wrong but I think it's only a picture of you." The Boss says, "The rest of the family is hard to look at." The Boss continues, "I see no reason I should suffer." Alice is stunned. The Boss asks, "Now what was your question about morale?" Alice walks out of the Boss' office. He calls to her, "Alice?" The Boss picks up the picture of himself and says, directly to it, "We're surrounded by freaks."