Last One Out Comic Strips - Page 100
1000 Results for Last One Out
View 991 - 1000 results for last one out comic strips. Discover the best "Last One Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "Our last blind date was intimidated just because we're two-headed and telepathic." Dilbert thinks, "Must clear my mind. Don't think of anything naughty." Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The woman spills her drink.
Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"
Wally leans back in his desk chair sleeping. The Boss says, "Hey, what are you doing? Are you sleeping?" Wally sits up and says, "Uh . . . No, I was brainstorming." The Boss asks, "What idea did you some up with?" Wally answers, "It involves Irene in accounting. She's the stern nurse and I'm the incorrigible industrialist." The Boss says, "I already thought of that one."
Wally says to Dilbert and Ted, "My productivity is shot. I can't stop daydreaming about Irene in accounting." Ted says, "Do what I did. Try to phase out of it by daydreaming of Laura in engineering, then move to the ordinary-looking Betty in marketing." Wally replies, "Now I'm daydreaming about all three of them." Ted replies, "Same thing happened to me."
A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"
Dogbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko says, "I can't wait to grow up and get out of school." Dogbert says, "Actually, Noriko, your generation will have to take classes and work full-time your whole lives . . . Assuming any jobs exist." Dogbert continues, "But on the plus side, television will have a thousand channels." Noriko yells, "That's it; somebody's got some explaining to do!"
Dogbert says, "Noriko, I'd like you to meet Bob the Dinosaur." Noriko and Bob say "Hi" to each other. Noriko says, "I thought dinosaurs were all extinct." Dogbert replies, "No, they were just hiding. We found Bob behind the couch." Noriko says, "I wish we had one at our house." Bob says, "Look in your credenza. The Belmonts live in the 'Krazy Glue' drawer."
Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."
Dogbert stands on top of a beverage container and says, "To be a zombie you must drink the zombie elixir." Dogbert continues, "The zombie elixir will remove any distracting thoughts of sleep or family life." A man looks in his mug and says, "It looks like coffee." Dogbert holds a giant spoon of sugar and says, "You have to add one scoop of zombie sugar."