Making Good Products Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Making Good Products
View 991 - 1000 results for making good products comic strips. Discover the best "Making Good Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 29,
2010
Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."
Friday July 16,
2010
Tags #robot body, #human brain, #best talent, #display case
Transcript
The Boss says, "I found a way to keep our best talent from leaving." Dilbert says, "Wow! You found a way to interface a human brain with a robot body to get the best of both!" The Boss says, "Actually, it's just a cool display case, but your thing would be good too."
Wednesday August 04,
2010
Tags #empire consultant, #crown, #king, #attendance, #present, #luck, #bit rate, #lab coat, #raise hand
Transcript
Dogbert the empire builder consultant Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"
Tuesday August 17,
2010
Tags #clothes, #new look, #black turtleneck, #jeans, #juice bag, #insult, #hulu, #Opinion
Transcript
The Boss says, "My new look is a black turtleneck and old man jeans. What do you think?" Carol says, "You look like a total juice bag." The Boss says, "That's good, right?" Carol says, "What answer gets me back to watching my shows on Hulu?"
Friday August 27,
2010
Tags #skill assessment, #lazy, #bad worker, #morning person, #sleepy, #afternoon, #sell stock, #stand on chair
Transcript
Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."
Monday August 30,
2010
Tags #new job, #internal, #human resources, #celebrate, #dance, #eyes closed, #mouth open, #double, #business
Transcript
Catbert says, "Good news, Alice. You got the internal job you posted for." Alice says, "YES!!!" Catbert says, "You'll need to keep doing your old job too." Alice says, "Did you just make me celebrate a doubling of my workload?" Catbert says, "Thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness."
Thursday September 02,
2010
Tags #anonymous online employee survey, #unabomber, #copy, #drink coffee, #worry, #copyright
Transcript
Catbert says, "Wally, we're concerned about the comments you made on your anonymous employee survey." Catbert says, "Your comments are disturbingly similar to the unabomber's manifesto." Wally says, "He was a good writer." Catbert says, "We have a problem." Wally says, "Is it a copyright thing?"
Saturday September 11,
2010
Tags #frankenstein, #human resources, #focus group, #scared, #angry, #fire marshal, #economy, #job market, #business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."
Monday September 13,
2010
Tags #new employee, #coworker, #meeting, #introduce, #front, #marketing, #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #blog, #scared, #point, #accuse, #fire, #business, #technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "Beth is our new marketing manager for social media." The Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."
Thursday September 16,
2010
Tags #book deal, #quotes, #stupid, #dumb, #quote fingers, #intellectual, #tweet, #twitter, #social media, #angry, #grit teeth, #nonsense, #yell, #spill coffee, #technology
Transcript
Asok says, "Good news: I got a book deal based entirely on the dumb things you've said." Asok says, "It's totally legal because the law only protects 'intellectual' property." The Boss says, "Frugga bugga!!!" Asok says, "And so began the sequel."