Nap Time Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for Nap Time
View 991 - 1000 results for nap time comic strips. Discover the best "Nap Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 26,
2015
Tags #deadlines, #deadline, #management, #time management, #projects, #distraction, #multitasking
Transcript
Boss: When do you think you can get that done for me? Dilbert: Depends. If I had no interruptions, I could finish in four hours. But we have to factor in the inefficiency of your management. For example, you're likely to give me six new projects before I get started on this one. And you force me to work in ta noisy office surrounded by all the people I need to avoid to get work done. Given all of that, I'd say it will take seven months. Boss: I'll give you three months because I'm a leader. Dilbert: Oookay. And... how much of the three months will involve you standing there?
Tuesday March 24,
2015
Dogbert Makes A Product That Begs For Updates
Tags #product design, #product designer, #cruelty, #update, #computer, #reboot, #operating system, #torture, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert The Product Designer. Dogbert: I created an operating system that uses up 80% of your time begging for updates. That still leaves a healthy 20% of your time to... reboot your computer over and over. Boss: Can it fax?
Tuesday April 21,
2015
Dilbert And Alice Add Features
Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking
Transcript
Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.
Sunday May 10,
2015
Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
Thursday April 30,
2015
Try Leaning In
Tags #help, #Advice, #bad advice, #careers, #Promotion, #success, #business
Transcript
Tina: I feel as if my career has stalled. Dilbert: Have you tried leaning-in? I hear good things about that. Tina: How do you sound helpful and offensive at the same time? Dilbert: Some say I have a gift.
Thursday May 28,
2015
Alice Can Be Disrespectful
Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless
Transcript
Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...
Sunday July 05,
2015
Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.
Tuesday June 16,
2015
Click Rate On Death Alerts
Tags #advertising, #technology, #analytics, #smart watch, #app, #ad, #click, #clickbait, #attention, #distraction
Transcript
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Saturday June 20,
2015
Four Hour Meeting
Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business
Transcript
Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.
Friday June 26,
2015
Government Wants To Kill Dilbert
Tags #cyber attack, #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #government, #spying, #surveillance, #privacy, #hiding, #hiding out
Transcript
G-Man: The app you wrote in your spare time stopped the worst cyber attack our nation has seen. The president has authorized me to kill you and steal the app so no other country can get it. Dilbert: The government will never find me! G-Man: We chipped you during your colonoscopy.