New Boss Is Posessed Comic Strips - Page 100
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1000 Results for New Boss Is Posessed
View 991 - 1000 results for new boss is posessed comic strips. Discover the best "New Boss Is Posessed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 18,
2016
Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles
Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.
Tuesday July 19,
2016
Boss Wears Virtual Reality Goggles
Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I convinced our boss to wear virtual reality goggles all day. Boss: Good job, Wally! I've never seen you work so many hours! Wally: reality is nice, but I find it limiting.
Monday August 01,
2016
Brittle Phone Design
Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology
Transcript
Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.
Friday August 19,
2016
Boss Freestyles With Jargon
Tags #language, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #nonsense, #gibberish
Transcript
Boss: I forgot to make an agenda for this meeting, so I'll just freestyle it with jargon. Let's do a deep dive in the big data and drill down until we hyperlocalize some disruptive technologies. That's enough leadership. Now the rest of you need something to do.
Friday September 02,
2016
Messages For The Boss
Tags #communication, #internet, #modernity, #attention, #distraction, #excuses, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.
Monday September 05,
2016
Electric Car Business
Tags #electric car, #scam
Transcript
Boss: We're getting into the electric car business. Dilbert: Why? Boss: Because it sounds impressive and it will take years for anyone to figure out we did it wrong. We'll have new jobs by then. Dilbert: Did you just turn my job into a criminal conspiracy?
Wednesday September 07,
2016
Weak Sales Reorg
Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.
Tuesday September 27,
2016
Boss Decision Making
Tags #decisions, #thinking, #stress, #hunger, #fitbit, #health tracker, #health
Transcript
Dilbert: I hacked into your fitness band and analyzed your decision-making under different conditions. When you are hungry, tired, or stressed, you make terrible decisions. Boss: How often is that? Dilbert: Only when you're awake.
Thursday October 13,
2016
Boss Wants Alice To Be His Work Wife
Tags #wife, #spouse, #work, #creep, #relationships, #repulsive
Transcript
Boss: I decided to call you my work-wife. Alice: Gurk. I"m creeped out! I'm creeped out! I'm creeped out! Boss: Just like at home. Alice: I need a shower.
Tuesday October 18,
2016
Requesting The Slightest Change
Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.